Inside, the men's room is...so disgusting. Seriously, I've used cleaner washrooms at roadside rest stops. The floor is all wet and there are wadded-up paper towels stuck to it, to say nothing of the suspicious-looking coloured puddles. Romano mutters, "Pfft. Janitors." "You should try paying them," Benton suggests, and Romano leaps on it like Alex on a Stroh's: "You see? Now, that's exactly my point. Instead of trying to understand my problems, you immediately champion the opposition." "The janitors?" Benton scoffs. Romano says that if he's to give Benton a faculty position, he needs to know that Benton will be on Romano's "team." Oh, and, as he's delivering this speech, he's peeing. Benton assures Romano that he'll be on Romano's team. Romano flushes and heads for the sink, checking, "I can expect your full commitment? No whining? No complaining? No excuses about your kid or your cat, or whatever?" "I don't have a cat," Benton dodges. Romano says that, in that case, Benton's hired, and holds out his still-wet (with water, not urine) hand for Benton to shake; Benton starts to take it, then folds his arms and murmurs, "You're going to have to dry it first." Dude, be grateful he wasn't holding out his hand for you to towel off. The sound of rushing water causes Romano to turn, and observe water gushing out of the urinal. "Ah. Well. Wasn't me," is the manager's response. Benton smirks.
Some conventionally attractive dude who used to be on a soap (General Hospital, right?) is teeing off at a driving range. Lisa, still storming, comes up behind him and shoves him, calling him a "selfish son of a bitch." This guy -- presumably Mr. Ex-Lisa -- has the stones to laugh at her, "Well, hello, Abby." Lisa asks whether it's fun for him, or more like an addiction: "Do you wake up in the morning thinking, 'How am I going to screw Abby today?'" He asks what she's talking about, and she brings him up to speed on the three months of medical school -- three months she can't make up -- he's caused her to lose, and on the fact that she's now a year behind on her residency. At first I think he has the decency not to be able to meet her eye, but then I see he's just lining up another ball. Mr. X-L somehow intuits that she's talking about her tuition, and she kicks the ball away in confirmation. Mr. X-L angrily tells her to calm down, claims that he'd planned to call her, and says that the IRS disallowed their '97 home-office deduction, but she talks over him, saying she doesn't want to hear another lie. He tells her to call the IRS, and she screams, "This was important to me! [kicks over bucket of balls] And you knew it, so you ruined it!" "Could you be a little more dramatic?" snaps Mr. X-L. She could, but why bother, when the role of Mrs. Palmieri has already been cast? Lisa reminds him that she put him through medical school. Oh. Okay, then, Dr. X-L tells her that his student loans put him through medical school, and that he's still paying off those loans, "along with a house, [her] condo, and two cars." During this speech, Lisa tells him that she meant she fed, clothed, sheltered, and generally supported him, if not precisely financially, and adds, "Don't forget the apartment for the whore." Dr. X-L's all, "Huh?" Lisa levels her gaze and continues, "I assume you're cheating on the whore with another whore." Dr. X-L admonishes her to "stop it," and she tells him to stop it: "Haven't you done enough already?" Dr. X-L tries to deliver the killer blow: "I didn't make you unhappy, depressed, and miserable; you did that all by yourself." Okay, first of all, I think Lisa may have got an assist on that from the aforementioned whores. Second, take some of the money you didn't use to pay Lisa's tuition and buy a thesaurus. Third, Lisa wore that sleeveless shirt to show off her nicely toned arms, and I'm sure she's more than capable of using them to beat your punk ass down. She says, "Screw you," and starts throwing his clubs onto the green. They both speak at once. Dr. X-L: "Right, screw me. SCREW ME. Yeah, you're the one who decided you wanted more. You're the one who decided you had to change your life, so screw me!" Lisa: "Screw you! Manipulative, cheating, spineless, spiteful, ass!" Once all the clubs have been scattered, Dr. X-L spits, "Are you done?" Our Lisa? Far from it: "You are in violation of our divorce agreement. I am hiring a lawyer, and I am getting my tuition money." As Lisa stomps off (and Sars asks, "She doesn't already have a lawyer?"), Dr. X-L calls after her to "take it all -- take the debt with it!" Under her breath, Lisa mutters, "Shut up, jag-off." Hee! "Jag-off."