A guy in a steppes hat, Mr. Thorpe, hurt his hands on a generator, which he acquired in order to prepare for -- all together now -- Y2K. Ask me if I plan to dignify this stupid-ass plot by including it in the recap. Go ahead, ask me. Well, no. No, I don't.

All right, fine -- one sentence. Kerry assures Thorpe that the ER is Y2K-ready, Thorpe challenges her, she takes the bait, and Thorpe crashes the ER's computer and splits. Nnnnnnnnnext!

Cleo tells Chad and CM that Chad doesn't have any head trauma. Chad wants to know if that means he can go home. Cleo says she's afraid not: "I've made arrangements for you to be placed in an alcohol treatment program, here in the hospital." "You did what?" CM asks, and Chad says Cleo can't make him stay there. Cleo dodges that point by saying, "As your doctor, it's my duty to look out for your well-being and safety." Chad appeals to his mom, who turns on a big smile and says to Cleo, "Please, Dr. Finch, don't do this to us, I'll try harder, really," but Cleo won't hear it. Chad swears he won't get drunk again, and Cleo says she knows they don't believe her, but it's for Chad's own good; CM begs Cleo to reconsider, reminding her that "it's Christmas, for god's sakes [sic]," and Cleo says that puts Chad at an even greater risk, since he's "out of school and partying with friends." Chad, sounding desperate, promises again that he won't drink. CM comforts him. Cleo adopts a look of self-satisfaction.

More Y2K non-hilarity.

Malik complains at Carter for giving away his GameBoy. Carter tells him he'll get him another one. Malik thinks the kids are taking Carter for a ride. Carter says he's gotten four guns off the street, so they can take him for any ride they want. Haleh walks by cradling a twin and says that a bunch of "troublemakers" in chairs want to see Carter, presumably to trade in more guns to get toys, and Luka appears and asks Haleh where he can find Carol, but when he sticks his head into exam two and finds her sleeping, he goes away without bothering her and asks Conni to keep exam two clear for a while.

Still more Y2Krap, augmented by Pukey Santa offering to help fix the problem.

Lizzie and Peter fix Rollins's artery. Lizzie comments that "it would be so easy for me to just slip." Leave it alone, Lizzie -- you nearly killed him once already. Peter says that at least Rollins will live to stand trial. Then Peter gets a 911 page to OR 3, and when he looks next door, Romano wiggles his eyebrows at him. Peter asks what the hell Romano's doing there, and as Romano beckons him over with a bloody finger, Lizzie reports that she feels a pulse, and Peter asks if she can finish with Rollins while he goes next door. She tells him she's come that far, and he can go ahead.