Lucy gives Peter the bullet on the bad-heart girl. Peter notes that the L.V. ejection fraction is ten percent; Lucy says that Bad-Heart Girl's previous ejection fraction was twenty percent and asks if that doesn't qualify BHG for an upgrade on the transplant list. Peter says he'll call UNOS and tell them to change BHG's status to Level One. Haleh comes in and tells Benton that the OR is ready for him, and Benton tells Lucy to go over everything with BHG and to call Cardiology for a bed. BHG gulps that Level One means she's "a shoo-in, right?" Lucy, all Little Miss Equivocal after getting chewed out by Kerry, says that they can't predict when a new heart will become available. As Lucy scribbles on her chart, BHG says she almost went to med school. Lucy asks what changed her mind, and BHG whispers, "Hospitals smell." "I hear you," Lucy says, and BHG goes on to say that she went for a masters of fine arts instead: "I was supposed to graduate in June." "Really? Me too," Lucy smiles, adjusting some equipment. BHG cuts to the chase: "I'm gonna die, aren't I?" Lucy nods, "If you don't get a new heart -- yeah." BHG looks like she might cry. Lucy looks down.
Pukey Santa explains that he and the other Santas drank some bad eggnog. Kerry chides him about the hazards of eggnog, and another Santa pipes up that at least they got to finish their deliveries; the Santas, lawyers and stockbrokers by day, make the rounds of homeless shelters every year with gifts, "to keep [them] human." Pukey Santa, whose heart Kerry is listening to, observes transparently that they could use a Mrs. Claus, and Kerry mutters that she herself could use a glass of wine and a hot bath. Meanwhile, Carter walks up with a chart, says, "Dr. Weaver as Mrs. Claus?" and starts giggling, but before he can make a clean getaway, Kerry snaps, "Hold it, Carter -- compazine and rectal suppositories for all the Santas and rehydrate until symptoms subside." Carter rubs his forehead and mutters, "Bah humbug." Rectal suppositories. Ouch.