Before beginning this week's madcap adventure, the good people at ER would like to remind you that Carter's Gamma refused to heed her grandson's warning that her fainting spells might foreshadow heart problems. Luka got Neecole a job at County General and admitted to Abby that the French babe is shacking up with him because he wants to help her. Roger reminded a gloating Benton that Reese's paternity is far from certain. Elizabeth stressed about the fact that four consecutive patients died of post-op infections; a criminal investigator implied she's euthanizing them. Oh, and in case anyone missed the memo, an old friend called Susan Lewis has returned to the ER.
A very cute young man stands motionless on the pavement, staring at a piece of paper clutched tightly in his hand. It's the ER ratings, which he decides far outweigh the show's descent into crapulocity; his last-minute misgivings about the role finally vanish. Stylish director-siren Laura Innes convinces us that he's actually looking at a map of the hospital; she cuts to a close-up of it as the kid rotates the page, studies it and finally decides that the giant thing in front of him that resembles the main entrance is, in fact, The Main Entrance. He's all adorable and eager and clad in a necktie. Crouching to the ground, he picks up a white glove and purposefully carries it inside.
Boy Wonder clears his throat behind Haleh, who is on the phone. Without looking, she calls, "Sign in." She's trying to get T-sheets from the obviously-in-error supplier, but Boy Wonder interrupts to explain that he's the new med student. Given that we've seen two other new med students in the past two weeks, Boy Wonder might want to be a bit more specific. Haleh boredly says, "Congratulations," and keeps right on talking. Boy Wonder flashes a huge, sweet smile, because for the time being, he thinks this will be a fun place to work. Ha! Just wait until he meets Elizabeth. And Mark. And Weaver, and Romano, and the rest of the good-times gang. Haleh tells him to check in with the doctors. Boy Wonder, lonely white glove in hand, wonders where the Lost & Found box might be; "Somebody stole it," Haleh says, walking away.
Dr. Susan "The Hair Up There" Lewis breezes to the front desk. "Excuse me, ma'am," Boy Wonder says politely. "Are you Dr. Carter, by chance?" Strike one. "Lewis," she corrects. "I don't think he's in yet. And I'm not old enough to be a 'ma'am.'" The first two times I watched this scene, I honestly thought she said, "I'm not old enough to be a man." And I laughed out loud, because it made no sense and I loved it that way. Alas, the writers aren't that playful. Boy Wonder apologizes and explains that he's due to meet Carter at 8 AM. "You're a tad early," she grins. Boy Wonder is just too excited, and decided to come early. "You'll get over it," Susan chuckles, strolling away.