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Episode Report Card
Heathen: B | 284 USERS: C+
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Impulse Control

Moaning Miguel is still all pissed off that he's in quarantine and not going home. What is it, exactly, about the prospect of coughing up blood and lung tissue that sounds appealing to him? Sam drifts past his room and barks at him to wear his mask. Then she eagerly asks Frank whether Alex has called. Except she says "my kid," which is just the kind of loving and personal touch one wants to hear from a mother. Frank says that Alex hasn't called, then orders her to stay put at Reception until Weaver finds her. "Don't hit me -- I'm just the messenger," he adds. Well, she can't hit Weaver, so I'm of the Have At The Messenger school of thought here, since it's Frank.

Pratt has gone from blowing off Miguel to being really suspicious of him. I'm sorry -- does anyone care about this subplot at all? Even a bit? Can I skip it? Because I think it's a sinkhole. Basically, Pratt wants to arrest Miguel for failing to take his meds, but Abby swears he just didn't understand the previous treatment directive, and she thinks she can make him see the light.

Sam suddenly decides that now would be a good time to chat with Arnie, but his pocket protector's in a tizzy over her behavior and he scurries off, scared it's going to explode and invite a Bic stain. Malarkey asks Sam if she's waiting for Weaver. "Don't hit her," he advises. "She's crippled." Frank laughs. That's all we need here: a soulmate for the soulless.

Weaver asks Sam how Ethan's doing, but basically uses that as a way to walk Sam away from Reception before delivering the blow: Arnie recommended that Weaver fire Sam. Apparently, they just now got around to calling her three references, and found out she's had prior incidents. This would have been more effective if they'd called these references before hiring her, instead of giving her the job after losing a game of rock-paper-scissors. Sam stiffly insists that she didn't get fired from any of those jobs; Weaver counters that Sam always left before anyone could fire her. "I'm a good nurse. If you want me here, fine. If not, I'll find another job that's just as good somewhere else," Sam bluffs. Weaver isn't fooled by this, and figures it's not the first time Sam's rattled off that little speech. "It's clear to everyone that you have an impulse-control problem," Weaver says. Based on what? Well, I guess she did rip off a man's prosthesis. Sam argues that Dean's a disgusting pig who helped his friends gang-rape Layla. Weaver reminds her that morality takes a back seat to potential lawsuits. Ethan has the discourtesy to start dying in the middle of this argument, so Weaver just tells Sam to speak to the head of nursing the next morning. "For what it's worth, I wish I'd hit him harder," Sam sasses. I sort of wish she had, too, because the kid had a week's worth of filth in his hair and a harder blow to the noggin might've knocked him clean.

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