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Episode Report Card
Heathen: B | 298 USERS: C+
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Impulse Control

Apparently, some monitor or other can keep track of every heartbeat Gus has had in the last twenty-four hours. Luka tells him that his heart basically stopped at 8:20 AM, right before the crash, but that the impact of the accident snapped him right back into a normal rhythm. "Hummer: We put the 'car' in 'cardiovert.'" Gus pales when he realizes that the crash saved his life, and he looks over at Ethan, who's dying in Trauma Yellow.

Weaver tells Sam to stop CPR and gently informs Kathy that Ethan is brain dead and...heart dead, I guess. He's a smorgasbord of dead, basically. Weaver promises to find out more about the daughter's whereabouts, Sam tries not to cry, and Kathy begins to grieve. As piano music in the background tries to tell us exactly how to feel, the show intercuts Carter at the airport with shots of Gus and Kathy telling their stories to Luka and Sam, respectively. Carter exits the airport, and then turns around after biting on his lips for a few seconds. Gus tells Luka that his first heart attack kept him from working, going upstairs, or even having sex. "I felt like I was dead," he says.

Kathy: "I never thought I'd get married, have two kids. I wasn't the type. But then...." She shrugs with a hint of a sad smile. As Kathy recalls her husband's excitement at her first pregnancy, which surpassed her own, Carter desperately tries to talk his way to the front of the ticket line at O'Hare.

Gus thought his wife would leave him when his ticker shut off his pecker, but she didn't, because the good Lord invented vibrators for a reason, bless His pervy soul. His wife was the reason he got up in the mornings, Gus says, and we see Carter shelling out nine thousand dollars for a ticket to Tokyo -- the only refundable seat he can buy to get him through Security, and then to Kem's gate. I'm fairly sure Carter's doing it because he can get back his cash, and not because he's a spoiled rich kid -- I mean, he's clearly just a Dawson's Creek fan cribbing from the oeuvre of Joey Potter: Poor Little "It" Girl.

Gus recalls his Hummer's costing twelve times as much as Carter just put down, and smiles that his wife never questioned him. In fact, she wanted him to spoil himself, so he did. "I went out and bought my dream car, and I took it for a drive," Gus says. Luka smiles, engaged, as if he thinks the story has a fairy-tale ending. As one who bought his dream Midlife Mobile and watched it become a Dodge Tragedy, I feel that Luka should wipe off the grin.

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