We fade up on Dr. Greg "Feh" Pratt chuckling at some x-rays, on which a phallic object glows white and bright, like some sort of cosmic, holy penis. Naturally, he wants to show this to Chen, in case she has a religious experience and mounts him on the spot in the name of Christ. "Hey, check this out," Pratt says. "Large vibrator, still on." Dr. Jing-Mei "Deb" Chen gives it a cool once-over, unfazed, and chirps that she'll have to one-up that soon by showing him her bowling-pin x-ray. "Little guy, but very flexible," she observes.

Enter a junkie. I'm going to call him Druggie, to distinguish him from Junkie, who is so last week. ["Druggie is known to Oz fans as Tobias Beecher." -- Wing Chun] Druggie gripes to Pratt that his pain is a ten out of ten, but Pratt brushes him off. "I slipped a disc," moans Druggie, begging for a shot of painkillers. Pratt walks right past him, which catches Carter's eye; Pratt exposits that Druggie has shown up fifteen times in two months, always seeking a shot of Demerol. Apparently, fourteen's a coincidence, but fifteen's a pattern.

Susan is busy barking at the security chief. Apparently, his officers couldn't guard a pencil if it was in their pockets. "You're Security, we're doctors, okay?" she says. "That's it. We shouldn't have to take down a needle-throwing psychotic." Officer Whatever shrugs that he can't be in two places at once, much less three or four. Susan turns to Weaver and points out that security's absence and slow response time is constantly problematic; why hasn't County hired a new company? Officer Get Stuffed argues that he's short-staffed because decent guards won't work for ten bucks an hour. In the middle of this, Carter grabs Erin Harkins to assist on an incoming motor-vehicle accident victim. And Druggie is predictably agonized. "Turf this guy to the pain clinic," Carter tells Pratt, who would prefer that Druggie just "LEBS" -- which is, leave without being seen. Yeah, clever, Pratt. And I would prefer that you "FSAGBFABC" -- which is, every rude word you can think of, smooshed together into one sentiment, and applied to your ass.