Episode Report Card
Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!

Groaning, Susan hangs up the phone and announces that she's being stood up, so she wants to go out and get drunk. Chen agrees to go, needing little convincing; Susan excitedly insists that Abby must come, too. Abby hems and haws and eventually looks meekly at Carter, who shoots her a cryptic look. "Okay, but no late-night confessions and no male strippers," Abby grins. Susan's thrilled and runs off to get her stuff together. Carter and Abby swat each other playfully; I'm guessing he is concerned about her drinking, but it comes through a bit murkily.

Susan calls Dr. Tsung, Phillip's primary physician, and breaks the news that the man got septic and died an hour ago. She asks him to sign the death certificate, and he agrees; she hangs up the phone and smiles sadly at Ya-Ya, who is doing what she does best, which is stare morosely at her son's dead head. "No Coroner?" Ya-Ya asks. Susan shakes her head. "We can release the body to the mortuary," she says. Ya-Ya is evidently off the hook.

Gallant walks Leon home, during which time Leon exposits that Pratt's family took him in at age nine, Pratt's mother wasn't a nice woman -- surprise, surprise -- and Pratt is the only family Leon cares about in this world. Pratt jerks open the door and ushers poor lost Leon inside angrily. Gallant apologizes, but says Pratt didn't answer the phone and he had to convince HR to fork over his address. Pratt nods and slams the door in Gallant's face.

The metal detectors arrive; six of them for four entrances. Carter sighs with pure ecstasy and signs for them. Suddenly, Random Vagrant appears out of nowhere. "How you doin'?" he grins at Carter. Then, he steps gleefully through the metal detector and shakes his moneymaker -- by which I mean, his coin jug. Carter is happy. Carter has apparently forgotten that he has to fire three people. Go sit in the corner, Carter.

Nightclub. Susan is telling Abby about her would-be date -- she asked him out, and he stood her up. He's a venture capitalist. "Right now, you'd be sitting in his apartment listening to...Theolonius Monk, or something," giggles Abby. "Right, but women who date those kinds of men don't get vomited on on a regular basis," Susan groans. Susan seems a little tipsy, and Abby's awfully giggly, but they don't show her drinking anything, although there is an empty glass before her. The waitress offers them another round, which Susan accepts but Abby declines. Suddenly, with the kind of half-hearted interest that I usually lavish on Chen, they notice that Chen isn't around. Abby spies her up on stage shakin' it, and grins, "She's going to be fine." Chen dives off the stage and lands on a group of extras who are totally psyched that they're getting paid to grope Ming-Na take after take after take. We fade to black on Chen's ecstatic face as a bunch of strangers feel her up. What a lousy ending.

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