It's All In Your Head

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Heathen: C | Grade It Now!
It's All In Your Head

It's imperative that Mark pretend he's fine, so he shows up at Ella's doctor's appointment in his brown penis cap. The pediatrician cheerfully informs Mark that he's too late; Elizabeth and Ella just left. Mark deflates, aware that by the time Elizabeth's done with him, his ears will be bleeding and his soul will shrivel.

At the courthouse, Abby chases down an attorney who we can only presume is the assistant DA in charge of her case. Although he treats her with the disrespect one might assume would come from Brian's lawyer. Abby is protesting the abandonment of Brian's trial, and we learn that both sides cut a deal -- no jail time, but a year of parole and forty hours of community service. Which is, like, the same thing people got in my old dorm for getting drunk at a winter formal and puking on a nun. Abby is aghast. "The guy attacked me!" she shouts. "This is his first offense," Lawyer O'Ugly points out. "But he's pathological!" Abby insists. "I've had to call the police on him before." O'Ugly says the court also insisted on mandatory anger management. "So, what, he counts to ten before he hits somebody now?" Abby gapes. O'Ugly whirls and shoots Abby a look of pure poison. "Let's not overlook the fact that somebody beat the hell out of Brian Westlake a couple hours after you were attacked," he sneers. "But you didn't know anything about that, right?" He drips with derision. Abby narrows her eyes. "No," she spits, but sincerely. O'Ugly's eyes are filled with dubious contempt as he departs, leaving Abby alone and confused and feeling jilted by the justice system.

At Mark's bidding, young Aaron wiggles his toes, then his fingers. "I'm not paralyzed?" Aaron asks. Mark assures him that he's improving fast ,and sits him up in the hospital bed. "Your dad's going to be glad to hear this," he says, sitting casually beside the bed. "The police think he was drinking." Aaron swears that Billy doesn't drink. Mark muses that Billy sure should know better than to pull young boys behind his snowmobile. "He does," Aaron says flatly. This kid is a bad actor. Mark cleverly deduces that the kids goaded Billy into tying the sled to the snowmobile, but his epiphany is disturbed by The Flame of the Damned. Which his to say, the sight of Elizabeth's hair. She's glaring through the glass, having spotted Mark doing his job again. She hates when Mark does what the hospital pays him to do. Nothing riles her more than seeing Mark be a doctor when he could be fulfilling his role as Village Pissant. Mark feels the crack of leather against his ass and knows the sensation of his wife's whip, so he leaps out of his seat and chases her down despite the fact that he's about to weasel a confession out of Aaron, who is, like, yelling after Mark to try to keep the conversation going. But no, Mark would rather get eaten alive by the preying mantis.

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