ER
Last Rites

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Wing Chun: C- | Grade It Now!
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Last Rites

After that understated expression of grief, the seizure-inducing ER opening credits are exceptionally unwelcome.

A goth kid is bleeding impressively in the lower facial area (it's not clear just then whether the blood is coming from his nose, mouth, or chin), and a guy in a navy blue t-shirt is working on him. T-shirt asks Goth if he got "a good look at the bastards." Goth says skaters all look the same. Lucy "Fright" Knight approaches with some X-rays and calls to Dr. Malucci (who tells her, "It's 'Dr. Dave' to you, Lucy,") to look at them, pointing out that there's no new fractures. Dr. Dave observes to Goth that Goth has banged up his chin before. Goth says that the skaters don't like the way he dresses, and that the last time, they banged his head in a car door. Lucy asks why Goth's principal hasn't intervened. With withering sarcasm, Goth asks Lucy where she went to high school. Dr. Dave says he'll return when Goth's face is numb, and he and Lucy move off to see to another patient. As they walk off, Carter appears, and leans in close to Goth's face, and says, "Ooh!" He catches up to Lucy and Dr. Dave and recommends "plastics" on that lip. Lucy asks Dr. Dave about the next patient's oxygen level, and Dr. Dave makes a not-especially-funny joke about the patient turning purple, and Carter tells her what to do as she hurries off, chuckling. Just then, Dr. Cleo "Patra Jones" Finch comes in wearing her running outfit and holding her pager. Dr. Dave addresses her as "Jackie Joyner" and tells her she's looking good; she more or less tells him to get bent. Carter laughs at him as Dr. Dave insists Dr. Finch wants him. Yeah, she wants you...to shut up. As do I. Carter observes that an earlier patient of Dr. Dave's -- whom I'll kindly describe as an alcoholic who's between living situations...and baths -- has returned. He is in a wheelchair pushed by Yosh "I used to be interesting" Takata (and flanked by Reggie "D'Shawn" Moore and Jeanie "Five Shows and Counting" Boulet, who calls the patient "Vodka Joe"), and is shooting off lines from "The Gambler," which I always, always think is funny. Jeanie tells Dr. Dave she'll take him, and Dr. Dave books. Vodka Joe asks Jeanie if she wants to "meet up with a gambler" (heh), and Reggie says, "Watch it, cowboy -- that's my fiancée." Jeanie says, "Reggie..." in a cautionary voice, and Yosh asks if they're engaged. Reggies says, "Pretty much," as Jeanie simultaneously says, "Not exactly."

Dr. Robert "Montgomery" Romano is in a lecture hall blathering about something while Peter "Big Daddy" Benton and Elizabeth "Moll Flanders" Corday converse sotto voce. He asks her to cover for him this morning, and adds that it's important. Before he can go on, Romano gets all schoolmarmish and asks if Benton has something to add. Benton says no, and he and Corday both smirk at Romano's little-mannish attempts to assert his authority. Romano says, "As a final note, you should all offer Dr. Corday your congratulations, since most of you will be working with her in her new position as Associate Chief of Surgery." Cut to Corday, who looks utterly stupefied at this announcement. Romano goes on to list a few of her new duties, and wraps up the meeting and leaves without speaking to her. Corday and Benton sit at the back of the room, both looking stunned.

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