Episode Report Card
Heathen: F | 1 USERS: A+

Susan insists that she understands their frustration, but the faction doesn't want to hear her reasons why everything must inch along at such a snail's pace. She throws up her hands and flees. Torres wants them all to relax, then struts self-importantly into the vaccination room, chuffed that he got to use his Authority Voice today. The mob is quiet. Put firmly into its place. Chagrined, even. Until one of its own discovers a spare gurney and concocts the brilliant scheme of using it as a battering ram to break out of the hospital.

Cut to members of the crowd running it down the hall, announcing their presence and their evil plan with a chorus of bellows. Clever. People flee from the gurney's path. The Battering Ram of Renegade Justice is on the move. Luka leaps in front of it to try to save the day, but unfortunately, God doesn't let people save the day if they're dressed in khaki slacks that are pulled up to their armpits. Luka's summarily flung aside. He shakes off an assailant and sprints anew after the gurney. "One, two, three!" the faction shouts, plowing the gurney at the ambulance-bay double doors. They jiggle a little, but don't do much else. The cop on the other side turns his head curiously, as if to say, "Silly rabbits. The application of force can't break anything!" The faction backs up and plows the door one more time; Luka grabs onto the free end of the gurney and tries to steer it away, but he's restrained by slightly-less-proactive- but-no-less-angry bystanders. Alison and Chandler watch with interest from their prison -- a pair of waiting-room chairs, to which they've been bound by yards of yellow police tape. Luka flings himself at the battering ram one last time, but his righteous wedgie intercedes and weakens his attempt at heroism. Luka's olive-green faux-Polo is still tucked tightly into his trousers. Who accidentally put Luka in Anthony Michael Hall's wardrobe? Was it Yosh? Because, come to think of it, Luka's look here feels an awful lot like the scene in Sixteen Candles when Grandpa describes the missing Long Duck Dong's clothing to the police, pauses, and then scoffs, "No, he's not retarded!"

Robin peers out into the hall. "What is going on out there?" she sighs, annoyed that other people are trying to usurp her moment of pain. Carter exits into the chaos, ducks, and dives behind the front desk. Jerry is already there. "Where's Abby?" Carter asks. Jerry shrugs. Carter wonders why Jerry isn't trying to stop any of the madness. Or, perhaps, why the ER only has indoor security guards at convenient times. Jerry waves his hand flippantly. "I tried," he blahs. The mob bashes the door one more time, and the door looks poised to give.

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