Mars Attacks

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now!
Mars Attacks

Dr. Dave wanders into a curtain area to give Chen some versed. She's treating a patient whose mouth is wrenched open. Dr. Dave, attempting "casual," wonders, "When are we going to meet Daddy?...The father. Of your baby. Everybody's kind of curious." "Everybody" may be curious about it but at least they have enough class to place bets about it behind Chen's back. Geez. Chen ignores him and asks how her patient's doing; Dr. Dave says "he's out." Chen climbs up on the patient's bed, straddling him, and informs Dr. Dave, "You know, my pregnancy is none of your business. [reaching into her patient's mouth and straining to close it] In fact, nothing remotely concerned with my personal life is anybody's business." She sort of pants at the effort, and Dr. Dave sniffs, "I just wanted to meet the lucky guy. You do know who the father is, right?" What the -- WHAT?! I know he went to med school in Grenada and all and we're supposed to think he's dumb, but wasn't he raised know, people? Who asks a question like that?! Chen rolls her eyes, and Dr. Dave adds, more quietly, "I'm sorry, I can't help myself sometimes. There's something about seeing you this way that I find very sexy." She rolls her eyes some more and orders post-reduction films. Dr. Dave cautions her not to forget contra-sedation protocol: "Somebody's got to baby-sit this guy 'til he wakes up." Chen snaps the chart against his chest and says, "I guess that would be your job...Dddd-ave." She wasn't about to say "Dad," was she? Because that would just be ludicrous. If Dr. Dave sired her child -- or anybody's child -- I don't even know what.

Moira -- Finch's patient with the sore throat -- has gonorrhea. In her throat. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Finch wonders aloud how to inform the patient of her condition without her mother's finding out, and Carter -- holding up the wall (hey, if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean -- urine, that is) -- offers to do it. Finch shortly tells him that it's okay, and when he presses, she snaps, "I've got it!" Word -- mind your knitting, Grandma! Meanwhile, Elizabeth continues to practice medicine Cyrano de Bergerac-style, using Mark as her Christian. Except that Christian is supposed to be good-looking. Anyway.

Finch manages to catch Moira when her mom's out of the room, and breaks the bad news. Moira's never had intercourse and still managed to get an STD. Dude, that is harsh. And eeeevil! Who's her boyfriend, Rex the Wonder Preemie? Moira says she didn't even want to do it in the first place. Finch concludes by asking Moira to promise she'll have safe sex from now on. "I thought I was," groans Moira. You know what? I don't even want to think about throatal gonorrhea anymore. This story line never happened. La la la la la la!

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