Mars Attacks

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now!
Mars Attacks

As Carter loiters some more at the desk, Mrs. Moira demands to know how much longer she'll have to wait. Carter starts to look up Moira's chart, and Finch appears behind him and tells Mrs. Moira that Moira's ready to go. Mrs. Moira makes some snippy remark and Finch snaps at Carter, "What did you say to her?" Carter says he didn't say anything, and that he didn't even know who Mrs. Moira was.

Elizabeth sends CP up to surgery; Mark follows close behind with Danny. Elizabeth checks out Mark's work on Danny's leg and comments, "That's not bad for a first time." Mark says it's easy "when you follow directions." Elizabeth tartly replies, "Yes. Funny how I can talk you through a complicated fasciotomy, but when I tell you to pick up your socks, you just ignore me!" [GASP!] SHOUT! OUT! From last week's recap: "Sometimes I think that if I see one more of Glark's socks on the floor beside the laundry hamper that I'll have to smother him with it." Hello? I'll be sitting on my front stoop, waiting for my cheque. Goodbye.

What's that? The episode's not over yet? Oh. Dr. Dave erases a patient's name off the board and complains that no one on his shift suffered a penetrating chest wound. Yes. That is a pity. Not even you, more's the pity. Frank nabs another wanted patient, and Weaver curtly tells him not to perform any more record checks on patients. Mitchell appears and asks Weaver where Mr. K. went; Weaver says he must be around somewhere, and they head off in search of him.

Carter pushes L'il Doogie out into the hall and asks him to wait a minute. Finch is smilingly bidding adieu to the Moiras when Carter wanders over and asks whether that was the gonorrhea patient, and whether Finch was able to treat her without the mother's finding out about the STD. Finch tersely answers in the affirmative on both counts. Carter says he wasn't trying to step on her toes by offering to take the case, but just wanted to help. "I know," she says flatly, and moves off. Carter puppies after her, asking, "Do you, uh, have a problem with me being here?" "Of course not," she says, and leaves to erase all the temp files on her hard drive.

In Mr. K.'s exam room, Mitchell and Weaver find alcohol pads wadded up all over the floor, but no sign of the patient. Weaver calls for Mr. K. through the adjoining bathroom door. He calls back that he's in the bathroom, but that he can't come out, is burning up, and needs wet blankets. Mitchell assures him that she can get him some upstairs. Dr. Dave offers to bring Mr. K. out, and Weaver accepts. Dr. Dave opens the door, and Mr. K. comes whirling out; he is, of course, on fire, but since spontaneous human combustion is not medically possible, the only cause to which I could attribute Mr. K.'s bursting into flames is...yes. Rex the Wonder Preemie. Set him on fire. I am telling you, he is evil! He switched the good snacks with healthy ones. He gave Moira gonorrhea in her throat. Now this. Next thing you know he's going to be splitting the Democratic vote and delivering a Bush victory. Weaver exhibits some quick thinking by loosing the fire extinguisher on Mr. K.; she calls for the burn unit, and Mitchell calls for a gurney. And a cigarette, to light using the embers flaking off Mr. K., because now she is thinking about fucking Gia.

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