ER
May Day

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
May Day

Okay, that shot of Anthony Edwards in the opening credits is six years old. He has waaaaay less hair now. We all know it. Give it up, already.

The CTV throw to commercial depicts Julianna Margulies and her clipboard. Uh, someone at the network might want to go ahead and pull that one, mmmkay?

After the break, the shooter is lying on his back, surrounded by barriers and encircled by several cops, all of whom have their rifles trained at his head. Benton asks to be allowed to examine him, but WSC says the cops have to search him first. Benton asks whether Shooter is still breathing, and the SWAT team cop (Cop #4) checking him over yells "yeah" to Benton, and tells WSC, "He's clear." Benton leans over Shooter and asks the cop, "You shot him through the [bullet-proof] vest?" "Right chest," Cop #4 says, somewhat proudly. Benton asks the paramedics also working on him for Shooter's blood pressure, and asks Shooter whether he can hear Benton. "Go to hell," Shooter mumbles, and Benton quips, "I'll take that as a 'yes.'" Blah blah blah bulletcakes, Benton determines that there is no exit wound, and that Shooter needs a chest tube. Luka ambles over and asks Benton if he's got Shooter, and when Benton confirms that he does, Luka says, "I'm sending the eye by ambulance, and taking the leg in the chopper." Benton asks him to wait, since he may need to send Shooter by helicopter. Luka says there's no room, and that Benton should send him by ambulance. Benton asks him to wait until he can make sure Shooter's stable, and Luka tells him to send Shooter to Mercy (yeah, 'cause Mercy is what a guy who'd open fire on a GRADE SCHOOL requires, not) because County has the closest pediatric trauma centre. Benton implores Luka to wait until he can get the chest tube in, and Luka totally ignores him: "Chris, take two units of O-neg from the cooler in the chopper; I'm loading my kid." "I said wait!" Benton screams, and Luka keeps on walking, shooting him an "I've got your 'wait' right here, bitch" look. Sorry, Benton, but where I come from, "kid" trumps "shooter."

At the desk, John "Chevy Chase" Carter, Abby "Lisa" Lockhart, Conni, and Randi all watch a TV report on the shooting. Out of respect for Sars's final ER recap, Lisa has. Her hair. UP. She asks, "Is that Dr. Kovac?" Carter claims it's hard to tell, as if that ass could be mistaken for any other. Randi opines that the figure shown is too short to be Luka. Dr. Dave "Nuke" Malucci strolls in behind the desk and asks for the tool kit. Without taking her eyes off the TV, Randi asks, "What are you going to do, build a treehouse?" Heh. Dr. Dave explains, "I've got a guy who drilled a wood screw into his tibia with a power drill." Ow! What the hell is with this episode?! Enough with the horrifying injuries! I know it's sweeps, but give us a break! The radio starts beeping, and Lisa asks, "Is somebody going to get that?" "Thanks, Abby," Conni says. Is this supposed to be a continuation of the all-the-nurses-hate-Lisa plot line that was feebly kicked off last week? Because, again, enough already. Lisa makes for the radio as Dr. Dave asks what they're watching. Carter fills him in, including the part where Weaver sent Benton and Luka. "Why'd they get to go?" whines Dr. Dave. "Because they don't get sick in the chopper," Carter snorts. Defensively, Dr. Dave replies, "I already told you, I had the flu, okay?" He locates the tool kit, and Conni asks whether he intends to take the screw out of his patient using a screwdriver. From the radio, Lisa says there's an MVA coming in: "Single auto vs. parking structure," and that the ETA is five to ten minutes. Carter asks Lisa to tell Weaver, and says he'll meet them in trauma two. Dr. Dave bitches, "Why do you get it?" and Carter shoots back, "I'll call you if he needs his oil changed." Oh, burn! I'll bet Dr. Dave hasn't had a burn like that since his days in Grenada! I see by the credits that, now that The Others has been cancelled, Dr. Anspaugh can come back to ER. I also see that certified Hey! It's That Guy! Amy Aquino will favour us with a performance as the bitchy Head of Obstetrics. Woo!

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