ER
Middleman

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Middleman

Susan tells Darlene that she's applying for a completely different grant than the one she was talking about either. Susan needs someone to take an inventory of all their educational materials and record them on some forms, and she thought it would be a perfect job for Darlene. Darlene looks less than thrilled. Shane comes up and accuses Susan of "poaching [his] student." Darlene tells him, "Attending scut comes before Intern scut. Sorry."

Wendall talks to a patient who has a sad story about how her life fell apart due to chronic pain. She missed so much work that she got fired, and her boyfriend bailed on her. Wendall starts to suggest counseling, but the patient has already tried it. Shane waltzes up and gives the patient a note to excuse her from work, as well as her discharge papers. I thought she lost her job? The woman says she doesn't know why she bothers seeing doctors. Wendall tries to sell her on the idea of a pain clinic or a support group. The patient says she always gets the same useless advice, and that she's tried everything and nothing works. She reminds Shane that she told him she didn't need social work. Shane's great advice is "Hang in there. We're all done here." In other words, go buy that poster with the kitten on it, but make sure you leave the ER to do it. Wendall wishes her luck and then, once they are out of the patient's earshot, asks Shane why he called her out of the NICU to see a patient that didn't want her help. Shane says he knew he couldn't do anything for the patient's back pain, and the patient just needed someone to hear her complaints. Wendall protests that she's not a babysitter. Pratt walks up and asks Wendall to see Thomas, and Wendall tells Shane that a possibly abused child is a situation that warrants calling her.

Luka and the paramedics roll in a guy with a gunshot wound to the right chest. Pratt jumps into the mix, and tells Wendall to go in to see Thomas alone, despite her protests. Pratt addresses the patient as Mr. Lysander. The patient removes his oxygen mask to explain that Lysander is his first name, and that his mom wanted to name him after a romantic hero, but that she got it wrong. This guy (played by the same guy who played the technology expert in Ocean's Eleven) babbles a lot, so unless it's important to the character or plot, I'm just going to say "Lysander babbles." They wheel Lysander into Trauma Yellow. Just as Luka is ordering Pratt to put in a chest tube, Dubenko swaggers in and introduces himself. Lysander is impressed that there are so many doctors working on him, so at this point, I thought the wound was self-inflicted to get attention or something. Lysander babbles. Dubenko gets Lysander to sit up and pronounces that the bullet went through and through. He listens to Lysander's lungs and says that he needs a chest tube. Luka makes a face, and Pratt sarcastically holds up the tube that he was already prepared to put in before Dubenko arrived. A cop comes in and handcuffs Lysander to the gurney, explaining that he's being charged with assault.

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