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Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | 216 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Midnight

At the hospital, Neela marvels that they're graduating the next day. She can't believe it. "Neither can your future patients," Pratt cracks. "Today, you're ill-prepared students. Tomorrow, baby doctors, with the fate of countless helpless victims in your incapable hands." No one appreciates this. "Jerk," Neela mutters. "Bastard," Lester offers. "Putz," says Abby, somewhat too charitable in her choice of cutdown. Although really, they should have learned by now not to expect anything more from Pratt. Neela reveals that nineteen of her family members are coming to graduation. She asks about Abby's family, but Lester interprets it as a question directed at him and merrily shares that his father, mother, father's new wife, and mother's new boyfriend are coming. I only include that for Lester fetishists, which...exist somewhere, I think, maybe. Neela cuts him off politely, talking over him to ask Abby pointedly who's coming for her. "We're not that close," Abby says of her family. "We're more like survivors of a particularly brutal carjacking than a family." Eh. I don't buy for a second that Maggie wouldn't have leapt at the chance to come. Their lack of closeness seems more a product of Abby's attitude, but she treats it like an irreversible fact. Whatever. I'm so over the Lockhart clan. Pratt crabs at them to get a move on so that they can glean all the pearls of wisdom they can before they're released into the world of malpractice suits. "Wanker," Neela spits. "Turd," Lester says. "Dick," Abby agrees. We smash to the credits feeling sort of annoyed that this show seems so very smug and proud of itself whenever it pushes the limits of linguistic standards. If the show had a face, it would look...well, like Carter looks all the time, actually.

Sam and Luka walk out into the ambulance bay; he's lapping up the attention like a kicked puppy and she's smiling up at him like the sun rises and sets in his jar of Brylcreem. "Is Alex coming with us?" he asks. "No," she says. "It'd be fine with me if he did," Luka says. Yeah, but wouldn't you rather have one solo date with your girlfriend, pal? "It's just you and me," Sam grins. Luka asks where she wants to go. She doesn't care; she just wants to hang out. "I miss you," she says, with a beaming smile that prompts Luka to reach out and take her hand. Has anyone told him that there's no need to feast on thrown scraps? He can get a perfectly good whole filet somewhere else.

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