Episode Report Card
Heathen: C | Grade It Now!

Carter walks into the hallway, where the sounds of labor and delivery bombard him. A guy at the soda machines chats amiably with Carter, trying for expectant-father camaraderie. He yammers about this being his fourth girl, and Carter just watches him with a smile and acts polite and doesn't betray his own heartbreak. "Good luck!" the man grins. "You too," Carter says with difficulty.

Steve watches in the mirror as Sam washes her face. "You didn't mention anything about the ice cream," he intones. "It was a big hit," she says flatly, drying her skin on a hand towel. Steve drools over her beauty. "Yeah, this is me at my finest," she cracks. Nice that she's washing her face, yet she's still got lip stain and mascara on it. She really should look into a better cleanser, but I guess it's hard to look pouty and trembly and sad without your lips as plump and pink as they can get. Steve titters that Sam's all grown up. "You're drunk," she says with a tiny smile. "A little bit," he admits. Sam turns and gingerly asks if he went to talk to Luka; Steve doesn't deny it, but instead hits her with "I want another chance." Sam ignores this, asks him not to go to the hospital, and walks toward the door. He's blocking it. "Come on, Steve," she says, closing her eyes and wincing as he gently touches her shoulders. He starts petting her torso and face, reminiscing about screwing down by the river while drinking Schnapps. Yeah, in all my most cherished memories, Schnapps was there. "[We'd be] making love to Dave Matthews, coming from my car stereo," he purrs. Dave Matthews, music to make love by? Only if you want your girlfriend to be sobbing through intercourse. Sam lets a moment of joy flit across her face, carried away a little by remembering that time, and also allowed to enjoy it because her eyes are closed and she's not looking right into the ugly face of her youth. Steve bends down to kiss her, and she parts her lips for him, but pulls out of the kiss almost as soon as it starts. "Please," she whispers, but she's not moving away yet. "Sammy, I love you, sweetie," he murmurs. "Please, Steve," she repeats, her eyes squished shut. He tips her chin up firmly. "Please Steve what?" he demands, a tad harsher. "Let my by, please," she chokes. He pulls back and lets her go, and she slams the door to her room and starts crying quietly, covering her face with her hands. So...I'm not sure if he used to hit her or not, because I'm not sure he's been around her enough since Alex to really fall into that pattern. I think Sam's pissed that Alex's father is a deadbeat, and upset that she can't take him back, sad that she's torn even a little, and probably bumming out that a good, solid thing like Luka might be slipping away. Or, she's just fucked up. I don't know. I don't feel sorry for her because Steve is so slimy, and I can't see why she ever let him back in her bed in the past -- which I am pretty sure she did, based on the earlier scene and on how he almost swept her up in memories a moment ago. I don't know why I bother. I think I'm trying to make myself interested. I can't.

Kem screams that she can't feel anything. She's trying to push out the baby, and Carter is holding her hand; they're both crying steady streams of tears. Wow, this one's a downer. The whole episode is wet. Kem's screams are primal. Finally, Fauxburn pulls out the Cartus, and it's all over. "There's a knot," she says, surprised. "He twisted in such a way that he tied a knot in his umbilical cord." Fauxburn assures Kem that there's nothing they could have done. Carter is shaking his head almost convulsively, back and forth, back and forth, as his lips purse. "Would you like to see him?" Fauxburn asks. "No, no, no," Kem moans. Carter seems taken aback. Fauxburn is surprised, too, especially since the show spent all this money on ExCartus and Kem doesn't even want to marvel over it, the ungrateful slag. Carter presses his cheek to Kem's as she wails and wriggles in the other direction.

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