Episode Report Card
Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!

Jane Doe is crashing in Trauma Yellow as the team tries to boost her body temperature. The cop comes back in and tells them that there are no missing-persons reports from the last three days that match her description. Haleh suggests checking another state, and Abby suggests Amber Alert. "How's she doing?" the cop asks. "She's still here," Pratt says. Luka yells for more blankets.

Elizabeth stands outside the chapel -- at least, I think so -- next to a plate of cookies and a large color glossy of Romano with his beard. Which means he inexplicably found time in all his recent bitterness to pose for a headshot, because he really wanted to commemorate this time in his life. Makes sense. Pass the bourbon. One woman is there smiling uncomfortably; some have suggested it's Janet Upton, but I can't tell. Suddenly, Lester and Some Other Guy round the corner giggling, stop to pocket a bunch of cookies, and take off again. Lester at least offers Elizabeth an uncomfortable smile, but the effect is the same: they stink.

The hot social worker who isn't Adele is in Trauma Yellow. Apparently, his name is Ken, and wow, does he look edible in that tight black shirt. This show at least does one thing right: it triggers my salivary glands. Abby snaps pictures of Jane Doe as she laments that someone might have thrown this little girl away. "Maybe her parents were injured," Ken suggests. Abby throws back a bitter response about how it's possible Jane got dumped around to too many foster homes until her case worker completely lost track of her whereabouts and she slipped through the cracks. Ken can't deny that it's a possibility. Abby tells him to check the CPS foster files in the federal database. Ken's like, "Hi, I have a job, and so do you, and they're not the same." He says he doesn't have access to photographs of those kids. "Ken, come on, you're a smart guy. Get access!" Abby protests. Ken would rather rule out the likelier leads: abduction, abandonment, or that she's a runaway. "She's SIX YEARS OLD," Abby explodes, frustrated, as if being six means you can't get pissed off enough that Mom fed you asparagus to walk out the front door and get yourself lost. Ken's touched enough to promise that he'll get her fingerprints and try to pull some strings at CPS. Abby thanks him. She should shag him. What? She should. We fade to black as Abby stares worriedly at Jane Doe before donning and tightly fastening her cloak of abandonment issues.

Neela finds Johanna outside, absently smoking. "Fourth one I've ever smoked, and already it's getting old," Johanna says guiltily. Neela informs Johanna that her mother is coming to Chicago. Johanna vows that she loves her family and loves Arcola, but got tired of the fact that the cheese festival was her chief source of jollies. I'm not sure what her beef is. Cheese rules. Johanna knows her mother will want her to return to Arcola, writing off the incident as a sign from God. Neela is confused -- she thought it was up to Johanna whether she returned. "It's not so easy," Johanna says. "If you choose not to be Amish, you're shunned. The community turns its back on you." Neela is saddened. Johanna explains that, as scary as the big city is, she likes its associated mysteries and can't imagine choosing a smaller life. But Thomas wants to go home. "Do you love him?" Neela asks. Johanna nods, and asks what Neela would do. Laughing, Neela admits she's not a good advisor: "I'm a Chicago med student of Punjabi extraction by way of London. Bit of a mess, really." But she admits that, in Johanna's shoes, she'd probably go home. Which would be uncomfortable if they wear different sizes.

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