Next Of Kin

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!
Next Of Kin

Carter sadly introduces himself to Gil's ex-wife, who we remember fondly as the heretofore-faceless DMOW #3. She's relieved that Morgan is mostly whole and stunned to hear about Gil's death, but not exactly upset; the expression on her face is more what you'd expect to see on someone who breaks her last pencil during the SAT. Except, still far less upset. "I understand it's been some time since you've seen Morgan," Carter begins. "Three years," DMOW #3 says. "And are you, um...are you aware that he's been living as a girl?" Carter presses gently. DMOW #3 gulps that she and Gil disagreed on how to handle that, and so when Morgan chose Gil, she didn't object. Nor, apparently, did she try to keep up with her child. Cow. She freaks at the idea of breaking the news to Morgan, so Carter offers to do it, but wants her to be there. Reluctantly, she agrees.

Morgan, of course, takes one look at her mother and knows something's horribly amiss. "Hi, honey," DMOW #3 says awkwardly, pretending everything's fine and she's cool and pro-tranny. "Where's my dad?" Morgan panics. Carter sits down and carefully explains that the OR surgeons worked a really long time to keep Gil's heart pumping during his surgery. "No," Morgan shakes her head. "No!" Carter quietly tells her that Gil died. "No! No, no, no," Morgan moans. DMOW #3 hugs Morgan's head to her chest, but not too tightly. "Sweetie, I'll take care of you, okay?" she says unconvincingly. She'd clearly rather be hugging a cactus, but hey, them's the breaks, beeyotch.

A guy with his broken hand strung up asks Luka when he can play basketball again. "Uh, soon," Luka says distractedly, turning to Erin to give her some instructions. "Your ears get red when you lie," she whispers to him with a gleeful grin. She's practically nibbling on them, too. Step off, Erin. Luka blushes and struts the three steps to Matilda's bed. "You don't even have to try, do you?" Matilda asks. Luka densely doesn't get it. "With women," she prods. Nope, he doesn't, but that's because he's started paying. Maybe Matilda senses this, because she abruptly whips out her checkbook. Perhaps this is her way of vicariously having sex with Luka -- by funding his hooker habit. "Is that pronounced Ko-vack?" she asks. Luka corrects her with his sexy, velvety Croatian accent, and I swear, when he says it, "Kovac" sounds exactly like, "Say yes, Heather, and I'll ravage you senseless." Rrowr. "I'm tipping you," Matilda informs him. "You seem like a nice young man." Luka flushes and says he can't accept it. Why? "Because you need it for yourself," he laughs. Note: not because it's unethical, or just plain creepy, but rather because it seems impractical. Poor, strange Luka. Matilda plays the Ace of Pity, insisting that she's hoarded her cash throughout her entire life, and finally, she's got someone she wants to spend it on, and he's refusing it. "I can't," Luka says without conviction. "Says who?" crabs Matilda shrilly. Erin whips her head around to watch. "Take it!" Matilda screeches, waving the check around. "I'm an old, arthritic woman, I can't hold my arm out forever. TAKE IT."

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