Next Of Kin

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Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!
Next Of Kin

Apparently, Luka did take it, because Erin chases him out of that room like an ant to a picnic. A hot, foreign, money picnic that drips sex. "Can someone really do that?" she gasps, fascinated. "I've never had it happen before," Luka shrugs. Erin can't believe he didn't look at the check to see what it's worth, and Susan overhears. "Oh my God, you accepted money from a patient?" she hisses. Erin grabs the check from Luka to peer at the amount. "That's completely unethical," Susan scolds. "It made her feel good to give me a token of her appreciation, so yes, Susan, I took it," Luka spits impatiently. "Hello, have her send you a basket of muffins," Susan grimaces. "It'll probably bounce anyway," Luka protests. Grossed out, Susan leaves as Erin announces that the check's worth a cool ten-thousand bones. Which, if you consider what he'll spend it on, is a meaningful turn of phrase.

Gallant brandishes Melody's medical records. I'll save us all some time: Yes, she's being physically abused, and yes, the aspirin was a cry for help, and yes, we got it a while ago. "Looks like Melody's got a lousy boyfriend," Susan says ruefully, staring at her sleeping patient.

Abby bursts through the front door and slams it angrily. "I tried to call," says Maggie, stuffing clothes into a suitcase. "What's the matter with you?" Abby seethes. Maggie calmly tells her that her way isn't Eric's way -- not right now. Abby accuses Maggie of being selfishly motivated, which is sort of like the pot calling the kettle a fat lump of metal. She demands to know where Eric is and buzzes through the apartment in search of him, but he's not there. "The only way someone with this gets better is if they want to," Maggie says firmly. And, seriously, as upsetting as it is that it took Maggie this long to get a handle on her disease, she's obviously the working expert here. I hate how Abby treats her, even though I understand her reluctance to let Maggie back into her life. Abby finds this approach unsatisfactory and demands to know what their plan is, if Maggie and Eric even bothered to concoct one. "We're going back to Minnesota in the morning," Maggie says. "What? No you're not," Abby sucks wind. "Do you have any idea how many strings I had to pull to get him into that center? Me me me, me! Me me. And more me!" Maggie promises that she'll keep an eye on him and get him to her psychiatrist as often as she can. "Me on a plate with Me sauce and Me sorbet for dessert," Abby says. "I'll keep him on his meds, if I can," Maggie says. "IF YOU CAN?" yells Abby in disbelief. "I realize this is hard for you to understand..." Maggie begins. "No, it's impossible, actually," Abby sputters. "I love him too!" Maggie insists. "Hot-buttered Me!" Abby rants. "I know you think you're the only one who's ever been there for either of us, and maybe that's true," Maggie trembles. "The 'Me' Show!" Abby screams. "Abby, I'm here now," Maggie booms. Silence. Sally Field totally could've eaten some scenery here, but she was so restrained, and in my eyes it's been a better performance than the histrionics that won her the Emmy™. "Where is he?" Abby spews, slowly and venomously.

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