Next Of Kin

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Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!
Next Of Kin

Pratt storms into the doctors' lounge, where Carter's relaxing. "Taking off?" he asks. "I have to make up time," Pratt snots. "Seems like I took too long of a break." Carter points out that Pratt can't just leave, and certainly not for an hour, even if he did sign out with Chen first. "You weren't here, so I overrode your order, but I didn't have much of a choice," Carter defends himself. "You could've waited, you could've paged me, you could've respected the kid's wishes," Pratt seethes. And he could've explained the situation more thoroughly to Erin, knowing he'd be leaving to confront Leon's boss, but he didn't because he's a jackass. How does that shoe feel on the other foot, Pratt? I hope it feels like the vise of Satan. Carter swears that he hates what happened, but DMOW #3 is Morgan's only family now. "Define 'family,'" Pratt spits. I love it when the writers go ahead and give us the moral of the story in one neatly hissed sentence. It makes my TV viewing experience so much more delightfully mindless.

As Pratt exits the lounge, everything starts moving in slow motion. That would freak me out, but he's fine with it. DMOW #3 wheels Morgan out of the hospital, his/her new family in tow. From under his shaggy and hideous short haircut, Morgan stares at Pratt, and I'm not kidding, that kid looks about two years away from a murderous rage. Yeesh. Pratt gulps and leaves as a concerned Chen watches. Her gaze then drifts to DMOW #2, who's leaving with her own mother and her baby. "That's her," DMOW #2 whispers. Chen smiles at the girl's mother. "She never told me," says the mother, who herself looks incredibly young. "I just thought that she'd gained some weight." Oh, great. Another one. I thought we were going to escape without Delinquent Mother of the Week #8, but alas, here she is, in all her dubious glory. Chen watches them leave together, quite sadly. Then Susan's huge head busts into the shot. "I so need a margarita," she nasals. "Ready?" Chen just looks at her with a knowing smile. "Come on, I hate drinking alone," whines Susan. "I mean, I'll do it, but..." Chen cuts her off, "See you tomorrow." Susan gives a good-natured grunt and leaves. I hope they're not falling back on an alcoholism storyline for her, too. She and Abby would be an insufferable pair.

A naughty lady of the night sits in Luka's black Dodge Penis. "How dare you say that my behaviour's unacceptable?" sings a gravelly testicle. Luka stares at his ho from inside a seedy check-cashing joint, then turns back to the window and proffers as if by rote the I.D. and pay stub required to cash his ten-thousand dollar windfall. The startled teller reminds him of the 20% fee, which doesn't faze him in the slightest. He gets the dosh in Benjamins and gets ready to hand it off after his hooker, er, hands him off.

Pratt arrives home to a frustrated Leon, who can't find another job posting that suits him. As he whines about McDonald's not offering all-you-can-eat to compensate for its piss-poor wages, Pratt notices an Xbox on the counter. "What's this?" he demands. "An Xbox, G!" Leon giggles delightedly. His friends gave it to him to console him -- hee, get it? Console, console...hey, come on, I'm trying -- when they found out he got fired. "They won it or something," Leon smiles. Pratt stomps his foot. "Leon, did it come in a box?" he asks impatiently. Leon's face falls in confusion.

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