Episode Report Card
Heathen: B | Grade It Now!

During various other time periods in the history of Everything Rehashed, Abby told Carter she'd returned to medical school; Abby and Neela became study buddies; and, even though we haven't seen Sandy in eons and Weaver in almost as long, we're treated to a clip of a just-miscarried Weaver trying to convince her girlfriend Sandy to have a baby. Sandy ardently refuses. She does not want to carry a baby. No way, no how. Under no circumstances. She's a firefighter! That would just be silly. Now, for a thousand points, can you find the sperm haven in this picture?

Tense music kick-starts the episode. Sam and Carter dash down the hall toward Trauma Yellow, where Pratt is trying to intubate a four-day-old infant. Pratt's tube is oversized, though, and he acknowledges this with the swagger of a man who's pretty sure that when he "intubated" Valerie, she delightedly said the same thing. The baby boy is Jacob; his father, Kyle, wrings his hands and hovers nervously. "We just brought him home," Kyle frets. Pratt has to give up, so Carter gently completes the intubation and they bag Jacob just as the NICU folks arrive -- a tall, young, brown-haired guy (third-year pediatrics resident Matt Gillespie,) and his compadres Abby and Neela, who are starting their NICU rotation. So apparently, in the time Neela's done one ER rotation, Abby's done an ER rotation and at least part of a surgical rotation. Okay. Jacob's mother appears so that she might draw out some exposition before the credits hit. Pratt responds to this by informing her that they think the baby has a heart problem. "You think?" Kyle spits, scared. Carter explains that Jacob wasn't getting enough oxygen, and tells Neela to call Cardiology up to the NICU. Matt, Abby, Sam, and Pratt wheel the kid away.

Carter is left with Kyle and Mrs. Kyle. He explains that congenital heart disease is tough to diagnose and doesn't always manifest itself right away, much like his own chronic and seemingly incurable BeeGeeism. Neela tells them that cardiology will meet them upstairs with an echo and something called a rashkind, "just in case." Kyle is completely wigged; Neela breezes past and says that Cardiology will talk to them. "I just want to talk to someone who knows what's going on," Kyle stresses. Carter stops and turns around, as if he's going to step up and fill that position. "He may need a septostomy," he explains, as if that makes any sense to the layperson. Kyle's face says, "That's VERY helpful, pompous dilwad, and we're so pleased that you know multi-syllabic words, but you can take your septostomy and shove it up your rashkind." As Neela catches up to Jacob and Company, who are in the elevator, Carter assures the parents that their son is in good hands. Thanks to this statement, we already know -- from our previous tangos with Foreshadowing on ER -- that Jacob is more hosed than a golf-course green.

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