No Strings Attached

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
No Strings Attached

It's another victim of the carnage over at Sweet Valley High, and this one is in a bad way. She asks how her friends are, and Susan assures her that everything possible is being done. Which anyone who watches television will recognize as doctor talk for "You might want to iron that black dress and figure out whether your friends would prefer 'Wind Beneath My Wings,' 'One Sweet Day,' or 'Hero.'"

And now, it's time to pull our last victim off the ambulance. Her name is Helen, and she's the driver. Asked by Weaver where she's hurt, she says, "Everywhere, all the time." Hmm. It's off to Trauma Two with you, Helen!

Meanwhile, inside, Pratt is still trying to save the hopeless case off of which Romano was trying to pry him previously. But alas, the lass, she does not respond. Kerry comes in and basically asks them what's with the pounding on the dead girl. Pratt and Chen want to keep trying, but Kerry tells them it's enough -- time to call it. Just then, Gallant and one of the paramedics start to wheel Helen in, thinking the room is clear. They turn around to relocate, but not before Helen reads the writing on the wall and asks if the girl they're working on is dead. Nobody answers her, so of course they might as well have just said, "Yes." Chen calls the time of death on poor Lila Fowler, and the steady beep of the heart monitor gives her the twenty-one-second salute.

Out at the desk, Frank is being a big buttinsky, reading the note that's attached to the bottle of wine Kerry just received. It's from the alderman, unsurprisingly. Chen smugs that he's "trying to get her change teams." Oh, how witty. When Frank is gone, Pratt comes up behind Chen and "hey baby"s in her ear about how he could pick up some of that wine for them later, hubba hubba, and she makes a crack about the high price, and he says she can pay. I swear, that bit of banter could not have been less sexy if they had done the whole thing in binary code. "0010110100101101!" "1010110110101011!" See? Equally hot.

Carter updates everyone on some patients and then gives the room the kiss-off and says he's about to head off to Belize. He is warned about airsickness and bugs, and then, standing over at the patient tracking board -- transparent for your Inventive Camera Work pleasure -- he asks Chen about her and Pratt. She kind of blows it off and kind of doesn't, in that way that makes you wonder why the hell they even put that conversation in the episode, considering that it is not at all interesting, and tells you nothing you didn't know from the incredibly steamy Soporific Wine Dance of Seduction Or Possibly Not of a minute ago.

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