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Episode Report Card
Heathen: C | 385 USERS: C+
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One For The Road

This is where the writers decided they could shove in a chunk of Weaver to resolve that cliffhanger, most likely leaving them free to marginalize and minimize the character at will (and so that Laura Innes can direct, which...hey, at least her talents will be used somewhere). We join Weaver as she chats up her lawyer, The Bald Eagle, who is coaching her to relax. Eduardo Lopez asks if Weaver got all his messages. She unrolls her Jump To Conclusions mat, takes a hearty leap using her crutch as a pole vault, and lands on "Assume you and the person in question have said all there is to say." Eduardo torches her mat and asks her to hear him out, over El Macho Baldie's objections. "Two minutes, Kerry," Eduardo pleads, as his parents gaze up at Kerry from a level below.

We smash to a judge expositing that the Lopezes have agreed to give Weaver full legal and physical custody of Henry, in exchange for nannying him while Kerry is at work. Everyone nods; Weaver is weeping. "We just want to be a part of Henry's life," Mrs. Lopez says, beaming tearfully at Kerry. Say what? That's revisionist. They snatched the kid on the grounds that he wasn't biologically Kerry's, and they complained about her job and sued her for custody, and suddenly it was all just born of a heretofore unfounded fear that Weaver would cut them out of Henry's life? WhatEVer. Somebody is trying to dismantle an asspole of a storyline. As Kerry sobs a delighted thank you, we fade to black thinking that this might've had emotional resonance if there hadn't been many, many months since the finale, and if the whole charade hadn't then been swept under the rug. But hey, at least the Angel of Death plot will have some more company under there.

My notes here read, "Abby does rounds. Blah blah blah." One of these days that'll be an actual episode description in TV Guide. There's some kerfuffle over Abby having to take the interns around, because Luka took off mid-shift. Again?" Abby gapes.

Luka's Ford SUV -- "Buy Ford: We'll Stay On The Bridge" -- pulls into the parking lot of the motel Sam and Alex are occupying. He hops out in sunglasses and a tightish dark t-shirt, and my TV faints. Alex spies him from across the parking lot. "Luka!" he shouts adoringly. As Sam looks up and shoots Luka a stunned and agitated expression, Alex beams from ear to ear. And the most important thing: he has a mullet. Seriously. The kid has clean bangs in the front and long tresses in the back and oh, God, Luka, this family needs you.

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