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One For The Road

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Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!
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One For The Road

Kem and Carter are on a bench out where they dumped the ashes. Darkness has descended and Kem is ready to leave, or else she'll miss her flight. "When are you coming back?" Carter asks. Oh, man, he should've known not to go there. Kem hedges that she's not sure. "My schedule's flexible," Carter tries again. "I can come visit in a few weeks...." Oh, please, don't do this to yourself, Carter. It's like he's the oblivious high-school nerd, pressing the hot chick for answers she doesn't want to have to say to his face. "Can we talk about it when I get back?" Kem interrupts uncomfortably. Carter's face falls. "I've got to rest...get back into work..." she offers lamely. Funereal music starts up as Carter mentally acknowledges the impending demise of his relationship. Then he delivers the final blow to his own soul by asking if she'll talk about marrying him. Kem scrunches her forehead. "I love you," he presses. SHUT UP CARTER. God. It's sad, but dude, leave her alone -- for your OWN sake. If you keep talking it won't end well. It's like watching a geek get his flowers run over by the hot girl's car. "I just...I don't know what to think about anything," Kem bursts. "It all just happened so fast, and felt so right, didn't it?" Carter nods. And has the sense to remain silent. ...Oh, wait, no, he doesn't: "It is right," he says simplistically. Yes. Pressure is so sexy, Carter. Almost as sexy as The Beard. Kem begs for a bit more time, and then leans over and kisses him. The closed captioning reads, "passionate Ugh," and while I know it's supposed to be a passionate kiss and a wail of sorrow from Kem, it totally reads like she's ardently repulsed by him, and I like to think that's the subtext. "I love you too," Kem does finally say. "I love you so much." And we fade to black seeing Carter's eyes as he recognizes that he may be with her for the last time, no matter how much love they have between them. Again: empirically, this is a sad story. But told with so much time between episodes, and so quickly with a guest star who's too busy to commit to more, is a mistake. But, I hope we can move on now.

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