One For The Road

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Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!
One For The Road

Chen is unloaded from the rig. Everyone's surprised to see her, and not just because she was written out of most of last season. "What happened?" they ask. "Road rage," she manages. "Guy shot at us." We hear Pratt shouting, "Get me off this damn backboard!" Chen explains to Kerry that Pratt was driving. Weaver sends Abby with Pratt, who is cursing up a storm about having to be coddled. "He's combative, with a scalp lac," the paramedic says. "I'm not combative. I'm just pissed off," Pratt sneers. Well, you say potato, I say combative asshat. Let's call the whole thing off.

In Trauma Green, Malarkey is hunched over trying to relocate a man's hip. It's so ugly -- he's yanking and swearing and he tugs so hard that he smacks his head against a ceiling lamp. Would that it had dislocated his "drooling fool" gene. Weaver makes him leave so that they can have the room for Chen. "That's the guy that shot at us," Chen whimpers. Adios, culprit! Better luck next car chase. It's not that I actually want Chen or Pratt dead, but that I'm tired of nutjobs who don't fully commit to their insane missions. Go sit in the corner and think about where you failed, pal. I hear there are lots of corners in jail.

Pratt's shouting and being generally annoying as Abby and others lift him onto a table in Trauma Yellow. She yells for a bunch of tests Pratt insists he doesn't need, because that's what brash doctor characters always do in situations like this, and God forbid this show take an unusual approach. Pratt wants to know how Chen's doing -- she has a fractured sternum, I think -- and he, of course, starts calling out suggestions for her treatment. Neela asks him to stop so that she can examine him. Pratt points out correctly that Neela isn't supposed to be doing anything. "You're a resident. No one's going to care if I kill you," she says. Ha ha, Neela, good one, except you're full of it. I know she's not doing anything life-threatening to him, but if she did kill him somehow, there would be an investigation just like with any other patient. Neela has met Weaver, right? Pratt still tries to shout out stuff about Chen until Weaver yells at him to shut his yapper.

Things are apparently so bad at County that a paramedic has to come into the trauma room rudely asking for a doctor to pay attention to his paralyzed patient, who got pulled out of the river. Pratt realizes that this is Fry Cook, and is relieved he's alive. "[Fry Cook] was with you?" Neela asks, blanching, apparently affected because she helped diagnose him initially. Weaver sends Abby off to check Fry Cook. "You're a doctor now?" the medic asks. "I start tomorrow," Abby says. Weaver announces that she's bumped up Abby's start date by twelve hours. "Now go," she says. Abby stands there pursing her lips. "What, you want an engraved invitation? Go, go, go," Weaver shrills. Earplugs, earplugs, earplugs.

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