Romano tries to rush Abby and Luka through whatever they're doing to Meat Slab, but like any person, they like to savor their time with a nice piece of beef. "He needs surgery NOW, not when she learns to tie a knot!" Romano snarls, muscles so tense that it's amazing his arm hasn't spasmed clean off the stump. He's called away to meet with Dr. Anspaugh, so everyone gets a breath of non-venomous air. "That is one poisonous one-armed midget you've got running this place," Sam says, amused, ignoring the fact that Romano is her height. Shut up, Sam. Luka gets called away to speak with Weaver. He turns to Abby and asks, "You're fine here?" Then, before she can answer, he smiles reassuringly and gently says, "You're fine here." Abby seems appreciative, and she and Sam work away quietly. Neela's got nothing to do but stand there silently. She's so jealous of Keira Knightley right now. "She'll need some Elastoplast," Neela tells Sam. "I'm on it," Sam rolls her eyes. "If you need any help..." Neela begins. Sam snorts, "Thanks. More likely than not it'll be the other way around." Neela, stranded, looks totally squashed by this rudeness. Sam had better not mess with my girl or else I'm gonna go all Chen on her ass.

Speaking of Chen, she is sitting at the Craft Services table filing her nails and snacking on her own pent-up rage. Eat up, Bitchmaggot. You're going to be sitting there until next week.

Dr. Kerry "The 'Cane' Mutiny" Weaver wants to set some scheduling guidelines with Luka. His attention is called away to a woman named Athena -- "Like the goddess," she beams -- who is the hangover case Sam assigned to Malarkey early in the episode. "I'm getting to her," trembles Malarkey, almost passing out from all the bricks dropping out of his trouser leg. Weaver gets back to business and demands thirty-six hours of work per week. Luka offers seventy-two, which completely floors Weaver, to the point that a janitor mistakes her for part of the linoleum and mops right over her. Weaver's convinced that six days a week of half-day shifts will knock Luka out, but Luka loftily mentions that he did more than that in Congo without any kind of a break. He's not counting on the fact that Chicago offers more hookers and speeding Dodge Penis 2003s to snatch away his attention. "Piece of pie," he says. Oh, so he is factoring in the hookers. Weaver snappily corrects, "Cake." Luka doesn't much care.