The Patient'sPOVCam is such a stupid affectation. I seem to recall watching an episode of SCTV about twenty years ago that punctured that particular filmic trope. And yet, here it is again, just in case we didn't get that, in this episode, Dan is standing in for us viewers, what with our lack of familiarity with medical jargon, our insignificant little unglamorous lives, and -- despite the complete normalcy with which we are burdened every day -- the compelling stories that can still arise out of our own crushing banality. Yay! We are special, too! And K-9...I mean, "Dan" -- he speaks for me!
Look, it's like I am the one lying on the gurney in the rig, as Dr. Dave stares down and asks me whether I passed out! Oh, thanks for asking -- I did. It was a side effect of having this anvil land on my chest and pin me to my office floor. But I'm feeling much better, now. Dan "Surrogate" Harris doesn't know whether he passed out since everything happened so fast. Dr. Dave asks whether he's experiencing any more pain, and Dan says that he was struck in the chest by the air bag in the SUV. Dr. Dave calls for more morphine, and then we can tell we're at the hospital, because we can hear the voice of John "Pilly Joel" Carter at the door of the rig, expositing that he didn't know Dr. Dave was doing a ride-along. Dr. Dave blah blah residency requirement blah procrastinationcakes. Cut to DanCam as they yank him out of the rig; Carter chuckles that he always thought Dr. Dave would make a good paramedic. Hey, that's funny -- so did I, which is why I pointed Dave toward the set of Third Watch way back in my recap of last season's fourth episode. Dr. Dave gives Carter the bullet on Dan: the only salient piece of information is that Dr. Dave cleared Dan's neck on the ride over. Dan asks about CuteDean (as who wouldn't); Carter breezily says he thinks CuteDean was brought to County, and asks whether Dan is taking any medication (no), has any drug allergies (again, no), and whether he's had any previous medical complaints. Cleo"racle 9i Database" Finch leans into DanCam long enough to ask Carter, "Did Wells give you my paycheque?" "Yes," Carter confirms, handing it to her. "Thanks. Peace out," she replies, and takes off. Good goddamn riddance. Dan says he can't recall any recent medical complaints, and that the only surgery he's ever had was an appendectomy when he was four. Impatiently, he asks after CuteDean's whereabouts again, and is told that Weaver has CuteDean in Trauma Two. The gurney changes direction and we/Dan see/s Dr. Dave at the end of the bed; he's apparently stuck around to say...that...he's leaving. Wuh? Dan asks who Weaver is. No one replies.