ER
Quo Vadis?

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Quo Vadis?

Last time, during The Storm, Weaver met a paramedic named Lopez, who knocked her out of the way of puddles and falling objects during a power surge that symbolizes a crackling attraction. Roger sued Peter for custody of Reese. Susan got revisionist on us and claimed that she crushed on Carter in the old days. Neecole got busted for stealing from the ER, and fled the scene -- only to return and announce to Luka that she's pregnant. Abby realizes that Neecole has told conflicting stories about her upbringing, and that she's a stinky, flaming liarpants.

In the hospital day care center, Jackie holds up a picture that Reese drew. On orange construction paper, he scrawled a stick-figured boy with purple hair, a matching sweater, and, naturally, no pants, because stick figures are exhibitionists and always have been. The figure is smiling and waving, standing between two homes. You might as well call it "Exhibit A." Jackie, of course, lauds the drawing like a proud aunt. But she also has the most hideous Afro bob on the planet, so that should tell you something about her taste. Dr. Peter"nity Test" Benton enters, kisses Jackie's cheek, and heads straight for Reese. "I missed you last night," he grins at his child, who looks delighted to see Peter. Of course, Reese gets all excited and wants to play, but Peter can't; instead, he promises to return later and take Reese home to bed. Shirley pops in to demand Benton's help on a post-op hemicolectomy; he tells her to call Edson because he's off at 8 AM, but it's just 7:55, so naturally he gets paged and can't finagle his way out of both entanglements. Reese fidgets.

Jackie follows her brother into the hall, whispering frantically that she had a helpful epiphany. She remembered that Carla always wanted Reese to spend Father's Day with Peter, and insists the judge should know because it says a lot about the relationship. Except the judge wouldn't care; if a birth certificate is inadmissible proof of Carla's desire to pair Reese and Peter, then Jackie's non-revelation will hold less water than a fork. Peter wants her to suck on the freezer and chill -- it's the first day of the trial, and she's helping plenty just by chauffeuring Reese.

Dr. Mark "So I Married A Battleaxe?" Greene abuses his phone privileges, using the front desk to call Rachel's school and ask for her attendance records. He then fades into the background, because God loves me. "Who's allergic to lilies?" complains Dr. Susan "Emmanuel" Lewis, shrinking with nervousness because Gamma didn't dig the blossoms she sent. Dr. John "Loins of Fire" Carter watches his crush, amused and aflame and eager for the episode to end because that's when the fun stuff happens. He explains that lilies are generally a funeral flower, and Susan reacts with an appropriate level of horror and embarrassment. Carter is clearly enjoying this. Mark, however, is not. "You sent his grandmother flowers?" he asks casually, but his eyebrows shoot so high they disappear into his hairline -- which, we well know, is on the back of his head. Susan explains that she's trying to get into Gamma's good graces. Mark flinches, I think, but maybe I'm just rooting too hard for his jealousy to consume him in a very literal sense. Carter shares that Gamma's more concerned with Julie, the girl she mowed down during The Storm, than with Susan's bloom snafu. Apparently, Gamma's lawyers have been busy negotiating a very handsome settlement for Miss Julie. That takes care of that plot. How efficient. They stroll away, abandoning the cameras with Mark. He barks into the phone that he's already spoken with the vice principal, and requests a faxed copy of Rachel's records.

Benton appears and asks who's been paging him. Apparently, it's Elizabeth, who just arrived at work and is running a tad late. Frank didn't realize that Elizabeth had been cleared to operate. "What about all the dead geezers?" he asks, amazed. Mark sighs and insists there hasn't been any evidence of wrongdoing; Frank fake-smiles that it's good news, but then turns away and mutters, "When the paramedics roll me in, I'll take Romano." Wow. That's faith! I'd have them wheel me into a different hospital altogether.

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