Rescue Me

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now!
Turkey and Stuff It

Dressed in scrubs, Sally minces down the hall in her stupid shoes and stops at the desk to ask Randi for a bag to contain her wet clothes. A woman in a plum-coloured coat appears beside Sally, with a baby in her arms, anxiously asking whether paramedics brought in a man who'd been struck by a car while riding a bike. Randi, who actually draws a paycheque from the hospital and may have a passing acquaintance with the regulations and procedures of same, tells Plum Coat she'll have to wait in chairs, and ducks away from the desk for a moment to get a bag for Sally. All of Sally's empathy antennae go fully erect, and she opens her big mouth to tell Plum Coat that they did bring in such a man, and that the doctors took him to a trauma room. Plum Coat begs Sally to tell her where that is, and Sally offers to take her there. Butt out, Sally. What are you, nine?

As they get near the trauma-room doors, Sally -- barely keeping the empathetic tears out of her voice -- tells Plum Coat that she's sure the medical staff is doing everything possible for Bike Guy. At that moment Lydia burns past them like a bat out of hell, carrying a bag of blood, and slams through the doors into the trauma room. Lisa finds Bike Guy's wallet and determines that his name is Jim Eakins. Luka tests his head and calls for someone to take the neck collar off him. As soon as they do, they uncover a huge, spurting neck laceration, and let me just say it's a good thing my pounding head and queasy stomach were already napping far, far away from the TV at this point, because the sight of that would have made me barf all over Sars's parents' rec room, and would have branded me forever as a Bad Guest. ["Yeah, 'cause nobody ever barfed down there before. And it takes way more than that. Have you written your thank-you note yet?" -- Sars] Anyway, Lydia applies a fresh length of gauze to the wound. Sally and Plum Coat watch through the doors. Luka tries to intubate, but finds a foreign body lodged in Jim's throat. He uses some kind of instrument to pull the gauze through Jim's neck wound and out his mouth. DUDE. In case it wasn't clear what happened with the disappearing/reappearing gauze, a totally overdubbed Lydia marvels, "Holy crap, you pulled my gauze right through his neck wound!" Thanks, L. Luka intubates, machines beep, sats are low, Jim needs a chest tube. Lisa goes looking for a chest-tube tray and, finding none in the trauma room, goes out to get one. She slams open the doors and comes face to face with Sally and Plum Coat. Maura Tierney does a great job actually physically reeling from the sight of her despised mother all up in her business, and Lisa says, again, "What are you doing here." Sally quavers, "The gentleman's wife showed up, and there was no one out there to help her!" Plum Coat chokes out, "I'm not his wife!" The baby starts crying, and Plum Coat cries, "I hit him! It was an accident! I didn't even see him!" Randi appears at this moment, and Lisa calmly asks her to take Plum Coat and Plum Baby to chairs. Lisa moves down another corridor to get a chest-tube tray, and Sally scurries after her, begging to talk to her. "Not now," Lisa barks, and heads back into the trauma room. Sally calls after her, "I'm not going anywhere, Abby! I'm staying here!"

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