Rock, Paper, Scissors

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: C | Grade It Now!
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Ambulance bay at County. Luka "My Demon Lover" Kovac and Abby "Lisa" Lockhart wander into the ER, bickering mildly: it seems she doesn't want to eat breakfast at the hotel because (according to her) the room-service guy has seen all her pyjamas. He suggests that they get up earlier, and she wheedles, "Or, we could sleep in, at my place...?" Before he can answer (or shut her down, as the case may be -- the point is, we will never know), Haleh comes over to tell Luka that a "possible hip fracture" is on his way in. Luka says he'll take the patient, and, without any particular affect, tells Lisa he guesses she's "eating breakfast alone." He wearily heads into the lounge, and Lisa, deciding to complete their little triangle early on in the day and get it over with, spots John "Gomer Pill" Carter at the desk and heads over to him, brightly asking, "How'd it go last night?" He doesn't know what she's talking about, and she prompts, "With Weaver." He breezily replies, "I think I'm going to wait until after my mid-year performance evaluation." She fixes him with as level a gaze as she can, being a foot shorter than he is and all, and declares, "You're procrastinating." "You're nagging," he shoots back mildly. "No, I'm being your sponsor," she reminds him. "Which is different than being my mother, don't you think?" he snipes. "Okay," she whatevers, and huffs off. Carter turns back toward the board just as Kerry "Eager Beaver" Weaver crutches up behind him, trailed by Finch, who's going over charts and telling Weaver where various patients are. Weaver tells Carter that his evaluation will be at 11 AM, in the lounge, and he apple-polishes, "Yes, ma'am!" Finch points toward chairs and tells her that "Mrs. Furtado" is in chairs, and that she's like a bird, and will only fly away. Oh, and that she's experiencing "vaginal bleeding." Weaver dismissively says that Mrs. Furtado was in the ER with the same complaint last month, which most women know not as vaginal bleeding but as menstruation. Finch pauses a beat, and then chuckles awkwardly as a PA gives her cue by poking her in the back. Some other repeat customer is in the ER with back pain, and Weaver goes to examine him.

Outside in the ambulance bay, "Dr." Dave Malucci and Luka amble toward a rig. "Like, a bishop bishop?" Dr. Dave is asking, and the female paramedic at the rig -- I don't think we've seen her before, or if we have I don't recognize her -- says she thinks he may have confirmed her. I get a flash to my own Confirmation picture, beaming beside Arch-Bishop Halpin in a ruffly white blouse, a teal and green plaid full taffeta skirt, and a neo-mullet. It was 1986. As Sars says, mistakes were made. The paramedic opens the doors, and says that she started a line and gave the bishop morphine. We see that it's the stuntcast James "Farmer Hoggett" Cromwell on the bed, in full vestments and with a rather becoming beard. Too bad he and Anthony Edwards don't have any scenes together in which to rekindle all our happy memories of Revenge of the Nerds. Oh, wait. It totally isn't too bad, at all. Luka asks Bishop Cromwell whether he was able to get up after his fall, and a priest that evidently accompanied him in the ambulance says that Bishop Cromwell tried, but that "several of us had to help him." "I can speak for myself," snaps Bishop Cromwell, though gently. Dr. Dave tells Luka Bishop Cromwell's pulse, adding, "I think you're supposed to call him 'Your Excellency.'" Bishop Cromwell twinkles that "'Bishop' is fine." They carefully guide the gurney toward the doors.

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