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509 USERS: C+
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Sand And Water

Okay, not every pregnant woman is crossing Chen's path; another one's up in OB, being examined by a desultory Lisa, wearing pink nurse's scrubs, and phoning it in. Lisa tells Upstairs Mom that she's dilated four, almost five centimetres. UM says argues that she was dilated four centimetres two hours ago, and Lisa's like, "Whatever, I could be pretending to perform CPR on a dead woman right now if not for my jerk-ass ex-husband, so just stick a four-centimetre sock in it, because I don't care, and won't pretend to. I mean, you're doing fine." Mr. UM ["who played Andrea's med-student boyfriend on 90210, and who is also my mother's hairdresser's nephew...not that anyone cares" -- Sars] asks to see Dr. Coburn (a.k.a. Dr. Amy Aquino), but she's doing a C-section, so Lisa offers to roll UM onto her side and make her more comfortable in the meantime. Some lackey appears at the door and tells Lisa she's needed "downstairs." Lisa asks, "Where?" and Lackey says, "Duh. What's this show called again?" and Lisa says, "Right." UM whines, "You're not leaving, are you?" Lisa says, "Damn straight," and books without a backward glance. More interesting duty calls.

Luka pushes aside the folds of his black shroud to shine a light in Stroke Lady's eye and ask if she knows where she is. SL mumbles something indecipherable to someone who hadn't spent a great deal of time with her, and the woman who came in with SL replies, "Let the doctor check you out, first." Luka asks what SL said, and SL's caretaker says, "She wants to go home." Luka says, "She's in a-fib. Probably triggered a new stroke." He asks SL's caretaker whether she provides twenty-four-hour care, and SL's caretaker says that she does. Luka asks whether SL has any family, and SL's caretaker offers, "No, not that she's in contact with." Luka asks the attending Conni to call Psych. "Psych?!" repeats SL's caretaker, and Luka says, "Just kidding. Psych!" Psych; he really says that after the latest stroke, SL might not be competent to make her own medical decisions, and that someone in Psych needs to determine that. As an alternative, he can always challenge Stroke Lady to a game of chess.

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