Sand And Water

Episode Report Card
Sand And Water

Machines around Regina are beeping every which way. Yosh -- who has a new Rob-Thomas-from-Matchbox-Twenty hairdo that I can't say I like all that much -- ushers in Mr. Regina. Regina gives him the recap. He asks Chen whether Regina's in labour; Chen confirms that she is. Chuny comes in and announces that Regina's OB confirms the baby's age at twenty-one weeks, five days. "That's way too soon, right?" asks Mr. Regina. Dude, take it outside; there's already one imbecile named Regina in here. Lisa tells Regina that the medication they've been giving her is filling her lungs with fluid, so they're not going to give her any more. "I don't care! Stop the contractions!" squeals Regina. Lady, I already told you once. Your. Water. BROKE. What are they supposed to do, fill your placenta with Evian and seal it with duct tape? You can't put the genie back in the bottle. As it were. Mr. Regina leans over Regina to ask Lisa, "If the baby's born now, can it survive?" Lisa quickly and briefly shakes her head no. Regina screams, "Joseph! It's coming!" Lisa tells Regina, much as I just did, that she's going to deliver the baby and that there's nothing more they can do to stop it. Mark charges in and Chen recaps the story thus far. Lisa tells Regina to push, and Regina stupidly continues screaming, "No! No!" God, SHUT UP, REGINA, you stupid cow! Mark asks Chen whether she's got it under control, and Chen claims she does, but when she heads into Regina's action, she sorts of gasps and starts. Mark yells, "It's a boy." Joseph (formerly Mr. Regina) asks Mark if the baby is breathing. Weaver (when did she get here?) says that he is. Chen -- by now very pale -- asks Weaver to excuse her and runs out. Regina whines, "I don't hear anything. Is he alive?" Mark says he is. They put Regina's baby (let's call him Rex) into the baby warmer and as Regina moans, "Please save him! Please save my baby!" we fade out on Chen, struggling with her own inner...uh...well, demon.

"You're doing charts?" Weaver asks, barging in on Chen. Chen claims that she needed to catch up. Weaver stares her down, and Chen finally manages to meet Weaver's eye and offers, "Look, I'm really sorry about...with the baby." Weaver says it's all right: "Our reactions can surprise us sometimes, but you need to go back in there and manage your patient." Chen fusses with her pen for a minute and says, "I can't." Weaver gently reminds Chen that she's being considered for Chief Resident next year" "People need to be able to look to you for leadership." Chen blurts, "I'm pregnant." Weaver doesn't look as surprised as you might think. Chen continues, "I didn't know what to do, and then eight weeks became twelve, and twelve became twenty." Weaver approaches, tentatively: "So, you're twenty weeks pregnant?" "Twenty-two," Chen says. Oh. All right, then. Chen adds, for those in the audience who've suffered head injuries, "You know, that baby was the size of mine." Thanks. Because I didn't get it before that. Oh, wait. I did. I got it. Weaver gently says, "Oh, sweetie. Why did you wait so long to tell me?" By way of answer, Chen says, "My parents are going to kill me." Weaver tells her to go home. Chen protests, "No..." but Weaver insists, and tells her they'll cover the rest of her shift, and work out her schedule tomorrow. Chen bites her lip. Here's what I don't get: who, when their boss tells them to leave work early, ever says no? It never happens. Never.

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