Secrets And Lies

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | Grade It Now!
Secrets And Lies

Carter finally shuts up when he runs out of lines, plopping down in a different seat very delighted with himself for upstaging the dark prince. But Luka picks up where Carter left off. "To die to sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream," he intones quietly. He's good, of course. Luka does everything. The writers really didn't have to work this hard to make us like Luka, but hey, at least we get long, long shots of his brooding, melancholy recitation, which switches from English to a surprisingly lilting Croatian. Susan eats it up. Carter slowly turns his head to watch, unable to believe his terrible, terrible luck that Luka is Mr. Perfect and he's the weedy sidekick. Oh, but this goes on too long. Here's my notes, verbatim: "Luka drones on, fully in character, desolately confused. He goes on. And on. And on. Still more. More. Carter gawks. More Luka. More. More. More. More. Susan admires him. Abby is touched. More Luka. Again. More." Luka snaps back into reality as Carter sinks lower and lower into his chair, outclassed, longing to disappear. "Be all my sins remember'd," he says, laughing at the melodrama. Abby smiles at him. A message to her? Who knows. Susan gulps. She wants to lick Luka's neck and press her diamond earring into the palm of his hand.

Just then, Dr. Taylor arrives to teach the seminar, and we spend an inordinate amount of time getting them all into the front row and getting their names straight. Class starts.

Class ends. The quintet bursts outside in relief, and Luka offers people a ride. "I'm on in twenty," Abby shakes her head. Gallant is, too, so he'll walk her to the hospital. Abby promises to be quiet when she sneaks in after her shift. Carter proffers his hand to Luka, who shakes it enthusiastically and with equal good grace. Susan and Abby agree to make a coffee date sometime, and then everyone leaves Carter and Susan alone on the street. It's an awkward yet touching departure, shaded slightly by their heightened understanding of one another and the varied social strata from which they come. No, I'm just kidding! It's just dull.

"She's pretty great," Susan says, as Carter tries not to watch Abby leave. "Who?" he plays dumb. "Abby," Susan prods. "I didn't know her before and I didn't think I'd like her, but I do." Carter tries to change the subject by inviting Susan to dinner, but she scolds him for making a total idiot of himself during detention. He doesn't get it. "You participated in a duel, for one thing," she mocks him. Carter stares at the ground and blushes. "Kiss me," Susan instructs. Carter is confused, but follows his orders, and leans in for another frosty cold peck. "Was it there for you?" Susan asks. Carter clears his throat and calls it a "nice" kiss, which is also known as "the death knell." Both admit there's not enough chemistry between them for this to work out, and Susan cuts Carter loose. "Are you sure?" he asks, like he's this great catch. "I regret it already," she lies. "That gold-digger alarm should be clanging like a school bell." I wish Susan didn't obsess over the money thing all the time. Carter never, ever throws it around in her face.

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