Props to Glark and Sars.
Previously on ER: Romano played head games with Benton and Elizabeth; Rebecca De Mornay needed Carter to go away; some broad from a fictional newspaper hung around the ER; some guy shot the place up; Hawkeye was hired as a new attending and Mark got all snitty about it.
Elizabeth "Unpicky" Corday is on the phone re-scheduling several surgical procedures. She wanders into the bathroom, where a...ugh...shirtless Mark "The Whiner, and Still Chump" Greene is shaving his disconcertingly phallic head, and asks if he's seen her earrings. She mutters that her schedule's "all jumbled up" and that Romano has her buried in paperwork. She glances up, spies her earrings, but before she can grab them, Mark has...ugh...scampered (and that's not a verb I use indiscriminately; he really did scamper) out of the bathroom and taken them, forcing her to...ugh...go over there and...ew...embrace him, all the while complaining that he'll get shaving cream on her. She still has the cordless phone in her hand, which rings, and which she answers as Mark still...God...molests her. It's his dad. She hands him the phone, and he gives up her earrings. Mark talks to his dad, who must be agitated since Mark tells him to calm down, and asks if anyone was hurt. The answer seems to be no, and he goes on talking to him as Elizabeth slinks off. Whatever happened involved "a fender and a Cypress tree."
At Doc Magoo's, Carol "Baby Got Front" Hathaway peruses a menu and regretfully orders corn flakes and orange juice from Knocked-Up Waitress, played by Martha "River's Ex" Plimpton. K-UW incredulously says, "That's it?" and Carol says there's no room left for food. K-UW, who is also pregnant (though not as far along as Carol) says that she's eating like a horse, and Carol explains that she's carrying twins, and they're "squishing [her] stomach." Martha says she's only carrying one, and "it's squishing more than that." Just then, the cook yells that he can't read K-UW's writing, and calls her "Meg." She moves off to decipher the order as Elizabeth comes in and orders coffee to go. She sits beside Carol, who quietly tells her, "I think you have shaving cream on your earlobe." Elizabeth self-consciously wipes it off and thanks her. Carol asks, "How is Mark?" Elizabeth replies, "Clean-shaven." Oh, ugh! Don't encourage them! Some dishes crash to the floor, and the camera cuts to Meg, being berated by (presumably) her boss, who says, "That's twice in one morning." He tells her to clean it up, and she awkwardly sinks to her knees and starts to pick up the mess. Carol and Elizabeth stare at the altercation for a moment, and then Elizabeth asks how Carol's managing without coffee, and Carol says that she's more concerned about the fact that she's growing out of her maternity clothes. Elizabeth tells her she'll drop a couple of those pounds breast-feeding, and leaves. Meg returns and places Carol's order in front of her. Sympathetically, Carol says, "Not easy maneuvering, is it?" Meg sort of moans, "No." Carol asks if Meg knows what she's having, and Meg says "no" again. Getting into Meg's business in typical St. Carol style, she pries, "Nothing on the ultrasound?" Meg admits that -- surprise! -- she hasn't had one. Carol looks horrified, as if women haven't been having babies without the benefit of ultrasounds for tens of thousands of years, and nosily tells Meg, "Oh, you really should. It's important for the baby. Who's your O.B.?" Evasively, Meg tells her she has to pick up an order, like mind your own babies, Carol, God! But of course she can't, and she presses Meg, "You do have an O.B.?" Meg says, "My boss is going to yell at me again." Carol asks to borrow Meg's pencil, tells her she's a nurse at County, and writes down her name. She tells Meg to come by after her shift, so that someone can examine her. Meg nervously says that she doesn't have insurance, and Carol assures her, "It's okay. Where I work, you don't need it." Hey, I didn't know Carol worked in Canada! Carol watches Meg go, looking -- surprise! -- very pleased with herself, and hearing, in her head, the sound of a heavenly cash register ringing up another good deed from St. Carol -- Chicago's answer to a question nobody asked.