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Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 303 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Such Sweet Sorrow

In the hall, Abby gives Pelvic Pain Girl discharge instructions, adding that, if PPG wants to wait a minute, Abby will get her a list of clinics that treat STDs. PPG asks to wait outside because she's "dying for a cigarette." Okay, if that's not a shout-out, show me one. Abby says okay, then adds pointedly, "But you're going to quit really soon, right?" "Absolutely," PPG says, rolling her eyes. Abby goes behind the desk, gives Dave a super-short synopsis of what's up with PPG, and hands him the chart to sign, which he does without comment. Lydia asks Conni if Benton's on: "Kovac has a hot belly." Conni says, "And a hot everything else, sister." Oh wait, I said that -- or Wing Chun did. Anyway, Conni says that Benton is off; he traded with Corday, "and Cleo just happens to be off, too." "Shocking," Lydia says. Snort. Meanwhile, Frank corrects Abby on the date on a chart, saying it's actually the eleventh, and after a brief quibble, Abby remarks that she expected that day "to be a really awful day, but it seems to be turning out okay." Just then, I hear a smacking sound that can only mean that Foreshadowing is once again eating my peanut butter straight from the jar. Next, we have some un-comedic non-relief in the form of Frank listing all of Jupiter's moons, but before I can send Frank a telegram reading "I KNEW JERRY MARKOVIC STOP JERRY MARKOVIC WAS A FRIEND OF MINE STOP AND YOU SIR ARE NO JERRY MARKOVIC STOP STOP STOP," Chuny runs up to tell Abby that PPG "collapsed in the bay." Everyone runs outside to find Yosh hovering over PPG; he can barely feel a pulse. In the foreground we see PPG's still-burning cigarette. Abby gives orders and calls to PPG to wake up, and Lydia suggests that maybe PPG had an ectopic pregnancy, but Abby says no, the urine came back negative, and Lydia asks, "Who's her doctor?" Chuny says with a meaningful look, "Malucci," so Lydia goes to get Dave, and they hoist PPG onto a gurney.

Inside, Abby continues to give orders, and she squeezes goo onto PPG's belly and looks at the ultrasound; at first, everything looks normal, but then Abby spots a mass and free fluid, which means a tube-ovarian abscess, and she explains that when such an abscess ruptures, it gets septic and makes the patient hypotensive. Chuny asks if she should page GYN, but Abby says no, instead telling Chuny to dial a specific extension and hand her the phone. When Chuny does so, Abby identifies herself and tells the person on the other end that she needs "to redline a ruptured TOA -- set up the OR and page a chief resident, thanks," and she hands the receiver back to Chuny. Dave barrels in a moment later to ask what's going on, Abby tells him that "my patient had a syncopal episode, dropped her pressure," Dave demands, "What patient? Abby, what patient?" and Abby snaps, "The PID I just had you discharge." Chuny calls out that PPG's pressure is up to 100, so Abby says they should move her, and Dave looks dismayed and wants to know why Abby didn't call him, "maybe it's a hemorrhagic ovarian cyst," but Abby says it isn't and lists the reasons why, and Dave expresses admiration that she made the pick-up of the TOA: "I wouldn't know one if it bit me on the ass." The team wheels PPG out towards the elevator and passes Carter in the hallway, whistling and twirling his stethoscope.

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