Panning out, we see him at Dr. Susan "Bizarre Love Triangle" Lewis's yoga class; the good doctor tells him that aerobic exercises is secondary to the strength and balance benefits of yoga. They descend into cat and/or cow position, or cat then cow, or catcow, or cowtow, or Spongebob. They're on all fours, basically. Carter's back still hurts, so Susan insists that he needs some Tylenol. Um, don't you think he'd have thought of over-the-counter drugs already? Unless this is Tylenol: The Morphine Edition. Carter brave-little-soldiers that he avoids pain medication. "If you're going to be macho about pain, don't whine about it," Susan instructs him wryly. Susan, it must be said, looks very nice in her yoga gear -- she's wearing a t-shirt and workout pants, so it's not like she's in spandex, but if she was truly overweight it would still show. This note is for all the people who've called her fat this season. Has Shallow Hal taught us NOTHING, people? Oh, wait...no, it hasn't, save for teaching America the very important lesson that fat people are ridiculous, are fodder for all our best humor, and should be chided for feeling comfortable enough to wear shorts and bathing suits. Ahem. Anyway, Susan wonders how Gamma is doing; Carter replies that the barrage of tests indicate nothing seriously wrong with her. Susan's amazed that so many tests got done in one day. "Rich-lady service," grins Carter. They're in dog position now, forming an upside-down V, asses in the air. The instructor appears behind Carter and corrects his stance. "If it's too hard, don't push it," warns Susan. Then, as subtle as a gasoline-scented candle, Susan asks what's going on with "[him] and the nurse." Carter feigns ignorance. "Seems like there's something there," Susan says. Carter sighs that they're just friends. "You're shaking," Susan whispers, amused, as Carter's face turns purple and his limbs quiver. He sinks back down to cow position and explains that his relationship with Abby is undefined because she just broke up with Luka. "I get it," Susan decides. "You don't want to be the rebound guy." Susan sounds disgruntled throughout this exchange. It's strange. Maybe we're supposed to think she's checking for clearance to land her airplane of love on Carter's heart. Carter pops into dog position again and everyone lifts one leg, holding it aloft. Carter groans that yoga is sadistic. "Pretend like [sic] you're playing Twister," Susan offers. Given what a clusterfuck of zero-equilibrium that game is, I'm sure her advice is very helpful. "Uh oh," Carter moans. Susan asks if he's breathing, and just as he shakes his head frantically, he topples over into her. An informal poll of my stuffed animals suggests that 95\% of viewers saw that coming; Lovejoy the Bear, the lone dissenter, closed his eyes as soon as he saw Mark on-screen and then just fell asleep.
Episode Report CardHeathen: B+ | 395 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT