And, speaking of action, Weaver is examining a low-rent Brad Rowe; he's gowned, has a little plastic tub over his bits, and is saying, "It was cool at first, but then my girlfriend went to work and it just stayed like that." It's not clear whether he means that his girlfriend "went to work" to her job, or "went to work" on...you know. Weaver asks whether the patient, Gary, had taken any drugs lately, and Gary confesses to having taken a "little coke." "That'll do it," Weaver says blankly, and asks whether he's tried masturbating. Gary is shocked -- shocked! -- at the suggestion: "I'm a Christian!" Oh, the coke-sniffing sect of Christianity. A Methodist, are you? Weaver tells him that helps sometimes, and that she'll have to drain it with a needle instead. Predictably, Gary asks where the men's room is, and hops off the bed, plastic tub in place.
Weaver heads to the desk, just in time to overhear Haleh asking, "How [do] you know she's gay?" "Dr." Dave Malucci sniffs, "It's obvious!" As Weaver continues eavesdropping, Luka asks, "Are the fibroids actively bleeding?" Malucci says they are, and asks rhetorically, "Why risk multiple transfusions if she's not going to use it, anyway?" "Use what?" Luka asks. "Her uterus," Dr. Dave replies. Luka, Haleh, and North America all scoff at Dr. Dave's assessment of the patient's situation -- and in case any of you agree with Dr. Dave, I would like to explain that many lesbians use their uteri even if they never put penises in them, besides which a hysterectomy is not exactly a pleasant procedure, besides which a patient's sexual orientation shouldn't have any effect on how his or her ailment is treated. ["And a hysterectomy can affect sexual functioning and sensation as well. Nice attitude, Dr. Dave." -- Sars] Weaver clearly wants to listen to their conversation some more, so even though Frank (ew, Frank) tries to distract her with some charts on something or other (okay, fine, they're med-school applications for Benton), I'll just continue concentrating on the discussion about the lesbian. Dr. Dave says he can tell his patient's a lesbian, even though she apparently hasn't told him she is; he exhorts the others, "Come on! You can tell! Check 'er out!" OB wants to take a course of treatment that Dr. Dave says "doesn't ensure they won't come back. A hysterectomy is the safest way to go, man." Frank finally notices that Weaver's been ignoring him, and prompts her, "Dr. Weaver?" Weaver tells him to put the papers he's holding in the lounge, and then tells Dr. Dave to be careful, since she doesn't want him to say anything that could open the hospital up for a lawsuit. Dr. Dave smirks, "Heeeeey. I'm the King of Couth, Chief!"