ER
Surrender

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Wing Chun: C | Grade It Now!
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Surrender

At County, Abby "Lisa" Lockhart and Mark "Scarhead" Greene are treating a couple of grumpy old men, played by Newhart's Tom Poston and Happy Days's Tom Bosley. They're both tic-ing it up hard-core with the curmudgeon routine, and I guess now that Walter Matthau is dead, it's a grouch-off among all the other actors around his age to see who gets to be Jack Lemmon's new sidekick. Anyway, Mark -- wearing a little cap (and considering he's returning to work so soon, with barely any time to recover, concealing the enormous Frankenstein's monster-esque gashes on his scalp from the patients is a wise move) -- gently presses his thumbs against Poston's cheeks and asks if it hurts; Poston howls, and Bosley, sitting on the next bed, snorts, "Wuss." "You want another beatin'? Keep talking," yells Poston, and Bosley replies, "I'm sittin' right here," I guess by way of invitation. Lisa tells Mark that Bosley suffered a lip laceration and a possible broken jaw. Mark asks whether they aren't too old to be fighting, and Poston plummily replies, "Never too old to defend a lady's honour." Bosley snorts again; Mark sets to examining him as Poston quotes, "'Grace is in all her steps, beauty in her eyes; in every gesture, dignity and love.'" Bosley announces that Poston "stole that from a book," and Poston snaps, "At least I know how to read." "Yeah -- with your lips moving," Bosley shoots back. "'Lip'? I'll give you --" Poston starts, but you can tell his heart's not in it and he trails off. Mark gives Lisa some orders and takes off.

At the desk, Weaver asks Mark how things are going. Mark tells her about a patient whose snow blower blew a rock into his larynx (dude!), and she clarifies that she meant to ask how things were going on his first day back. "So far so good," he says, and tells her to check him again at the end of his four hours. She pointedly asks whether he's getting backed up, and he tells her he has three patients waiting for surgical consults. Weaver looks at the board and asks who's on the service, and Mark replies, "Peter, but she's stuck in a press conference." Weaver asks, "What?" Mark repeats, "Peter. She's been in for an hour." Weaver asks, "Who's 'she'?" "What?" Mark asks. Second base! Weaver sort of shakes her head and asks, "Wait -- I mean, who's giving a press conference?" Mark says he doesn't know what it's for, but that Benton is in it. Mark walks off, and Weaver watches him go, looking quizzical.

From the other side of the floor, Luka "The Croatian Way of Death" Kovac calls Weaver over and asks her to call Radiology; they sent his patient back without films and won't "chase them down." Weaver crutches over -- carrying Mitchell's insulated mug like a security blanket -- and asks whether there's any bone exposed. Well, of course there's bone exposed -- it's season seven, isn't it? This season's been all about people breaking bones so badly that the ragged stumps end up poking out of their flesh. (Hey, if I have to hear about it, so do you.) Luka confirms, rather unnecessarily, that there is bone exposed, and that he needs the x-ray in order to fix it. Weaver asks, "How'd it happen?" and Luka replies, "I don't know, they just lost it." Weaver explains that she's asking how the patient's finger was injured, and Luka says the patient won't say. Weaver flicks through the chart, and then asks the patient, in Spanish, whether he speaks English. Luka tells Weaver that "Chuny already tried." Weaver asks Finger a question in Spanish, which I don't speak; Finger's answer includes the word "accident." Luka says that the injury looks as if a saw was involved. Weaver asks another question, and Finger says something including the word "work." Weaver asks where he works (I'm sorry, but I'm getting down as much as I can based on my knowledge of French). Finger looks terrified; Weaver repeats, "Where?" and Finger says nothing. "Told you," smugs Luka, irrigating the wound. Weaver asks whether someone brought Finger in, and Luka says he thinks Finger took a cab. Weaver asks which cab company, and after the slightest of beats, Luka shrugs and shakes his head. Weaver asks whether anyone saw Finger arrive, and Luka says that Malik was outside when he came in, and asks her why she wants to know. Weaver quietly says that they should put a call in to OSHA, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration. Luka leaps, up, yelping, "OSHA?!" Weaver exposits, "They monitor workplace safety requirements. He's probably illegal and doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to lose his job." "That's his choice, isn't it?" Luka replies. "Until someone gets seriously hurt," says Weaver, and purposefully crutches off, saying that she'll make the call. "I just need you to call Radiology!" Luka impotently calls after her.

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