Some old man's sassy wife fell off her treadmill -- this is the woman Abby was waiting for earlier. "I told you not to work out so much," he grumbles. "So I can watch soaps all day?" she lips. Then she tells Carter her hair is falling out. "I blame that on him," she sighs. "She's just kidding," her husband says. "The hell I am!" she shouts. Her husband clearly wants to tell her to shut her mischief hole, but no one put that in the script, so he stays silent. "Did you check her fingernails?" Abby asks Carter. "Yeah, I was getting to that," he snaps. Abby is briefly taken aback, but covers; we learn that the woman, Ruthy, is exposed to arsenic on a daily basis through her job at a wood-processing plant. Carter asks Abby to obtain her past test results from OSHA, and they escape right as The Bickersons get going again.
"The wonders of marital bliss, huh?" Carter observes dryly. "I wonder who's worse -- her for being such a pain in the ass, or him for being so pathetic." Then he trips over an anvil and lands right in the lap of our hero Ron Obvious. "Cuts both ways, I guess," Abby shrugs. Carter makes up a question to ask Elizabeth so that she has an excuse to cross the set. The camera picks Elizabeth up and follows her toward Trauma Green.
Just outside the room, Lizzie bumps into Crazy Toe Girl's mother. "I'm surprised the camp actually called you," Elizabeth says, sitting down. "They assaulted your daughter." Mama CTG bites her lip and snorts. "Is that what she told you?" she shakes her head. "She ran off on the second day. They didn't touch her." Elizabeth points out that, clearly, somebody touched CTG. "What makes you so certain it's not the camp?" she asks. "Because she says it is," Mama CTG replies bitterly. "Trashing our house with a baseball bat, shoplifting, drinking, drug use, unwanted pregnancy...do I need to go on?" Elizabeth stares at her as if unable to believe a teenager can be so evil -- like she herself wasn't the stepmonster of a rotten little brat and budding tramp. Mama CTG's pager beeps, so she excuses herself. "Maybe you can talk to her when you're finished?" Elizabeth pleads. "I haven't been able to talk to her in three years," Mama CTG says, sadly. Elizabeth stares at the ground, upset that the writers have forgotten that she's not Mark, and angry that she's apparently getting some reheated crappy troubled teen storyline that got rejected last season from the Things That Parallel Mark Greene's Pathetic Life pile.









Comments