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Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B- | 281 USERS: C+
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Mother? Fuck 'er!

Lisa leaps out of her SUV at the scene of Sally's evident crime. A paramedic is trying to treat Sally, but she is angrily telling him -- at a pace of ten miles a minute -- that her daughter is a doctor and that she will take care of Sally. Sally spots Lisa trying to bypass Sally and go straight to a nearby police officer; Sally waylays her to say that none of this was her fault, and that some man she didn't know came after her. A woman -- I'll assume a woman from the shop -- interjects, "She was shoplifting." Sally rounds on her and barks, "I was not shoplifting! Why would I shoplift a ten-dollar scarf?" "It's a three-hundred-dollar scarf!" Shop Woman replies. Holy shit, really? Admittedly I am no fashion plate in my Old Navy t-shirt and fleece leggings right now, but for $300 a scarf better double as a lawnmower before I'd think it was a worthwhile investment. Anyway. Shop Woman tells Lisa that Sally walked straight through the shop's door and shattered glass everywhere. Lisa nods rapidly, evidently not even considering contesting the charges against Sally, and tells Shop Woman and the nearest cop that they don't want to arrest Sally: "Believe me, It's not worth your trouble. I'm a nurse at County --" The cop asks what's wrong with Sally, who hysterically answers for herself: "Nothing! Nothing is wrong with me!" Lisa looks down and speaks over her: "She has a mood disorder." Shop Woman snaps, "She was stealing." Lisa replies, "She wasn't stealing, she was confused." Shop Woman spits, "You weren't there! She walked into the store, demanded a job, and when I explained to her --" "Let me tell you something, dearie -- I have better retail skills than you do any day of the week!" hisses Sally. Shop Woman is both incredulous and amused. Lisa turns on her and snaps, "Be quiet, Mom!" Sally goes on for a while about her retail skills, and Lisa gives the cop her phone number and offers to pay for the broken glass. Shop Woman snottily asks, "What if she comes back?" and Lisa promises that Sally won't come back. The cop confirms that Lisa will take care of it, and Shop Woman finally agrees not to press charges as long as they get Sally out of there. Shop Woman? I'll go in on that action with you. Get Sally out of here! Her constant yammering is making me so very, very tired.

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