ER
The Dance We Do

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Mother? Fuck 'er!

Props to Djb and Sars who, as I write this sentence, are both packing their bags in preparation of spending the weekend with us in Toronto. Whee!

Previously on ER: Abby's mother promised Abby that she would take her medication, and begged Abby not to throw her out; fluid leaked out of the spine of one of Elizabeth's patients, but she blew it off in favour of a weekend getaway with Mark, and then got sued for paralyzing him; Jackie screamed at Jesse's girlfriend; Mark found out he has a brain tumour.

Abby "Lisa" Lockhart is curled up in bed among cozy-looking white linens when a very unobtrusive tapping is heard at the door. It's so unobtrusive, in fact, that, at first, I mistake it for someone tapping his (or her) toothbrush against the edge of the sink in the next room. Lisa reluctantly rouses herself and goes to the door, where a room-service dude is escorting a room-service tray full of breakfast. See, here's where the logic of living in a hotel really asserts itself. Come on, that would rule! Why the hell did I spend all this money on a stupid house when I could have lived in a nice hotel for a year instead? But enough about me. Lisa and her bedhead sign for the food and Luka "Balkan It for All It's Worth" Kovac has. No. SHIRT ON. Oh my word. And he's smiling! And he has toothpaste foam all over his mouth! And no shirt! And he's kind of wet! And...give me a minute...calm blue ocean...okay, anyway, he sees Lisa with her sweater half on and chuckles that he told the guy to leave the cart outside. She tells him it's okay, and continues rummaging around on the floor in search of the rest of her clothes. He offers her some of the breakfast, or access to the shower, and she tells him she has to go home. Is he working today? No. Is she? Yes. Insert pregnant pause for them to undress each other with their eyes, and Lisa's out, telling him she'll see him later. Luka goes back to the mirror and thinks, "I am one hot, sexy bitch." At least, that's what I would do if I were him. And I'd take off the track pants and towel while I did so. I'll stop right there because I don't work blue. Much.

At what one might reasonably presume is Lisa's condo, Maggie "Sally Field" Wyczenski is working at a sewing machine; various lengths of purple fabric seem to be draped across every piece of furniture. Sally asks how Lisa's night was, and Lisa blandly asks, "What's all this?" Sally says she borrowed the sewing machine from "Marge," a neighbour Lisa didn't know she had, and adds that the coffee's fresh. Lisa goes to get a cup and asks, with more curiosity than accusation in her voice, whether Sally's been up all night. Sally says that she got up early to finish her project, and that she has a "big interview" today. Lisa asks where all the fabric came from, and Sally claims there was a big sale at the yardage store. Lisa returns to the table with her cup and a carton of cream, and Sally sadly confesses, "Honey, I'm sorry, I used the money you gave me for bus fare. I know it wasn't my money. I will pay you back just as soon as I get this job." Sally adds that the interview is at a "high-end" store with "big commissions," and that she'll use her earnings to "buy [them] all new furniture." Lisa blinks, but her face is completely open and blank and she says nothing. Sally leaps up to show Lisa the suit jacket she's just made; it's nice -- a short blazer in a neutral dove-grey colour. As Sally holds it up to her chest, a cloud comes over Lisa's brow. "You don't like it," surmises Sally, and Lisa visibly shakes off her reverie and smiles, "No, I do." At this tiny morsel of approval, Sally's nervous energy increases and she bellows, "Oh! You know what I got YOOOOOOOOOOU?! Something great!" She starts rifling through the piles of cloth littering the living room, blathering on, "Knit jersey fabric. I LOOOOOOOOOVE jersey. Where is it? I'm gonna make you something [that'll] make that Euro doctor stand up and take notice!" Okay, I hate to say this, but Manic Sally kind of reminds me of my grandma. Of course, my grandma is not actually manic. But she does go on the way Sally does, filling the silences. Also, she sews. Grandma, if you're reading this, I mean it nice. "'Euro doctor'?" Lisa repeats, bemused, and Sally puts hand on her hip and declares, "I've been here long enough to know what's happening. As far as I'm concerned, he's very handsome, but too old to be playing hard to get." Heh. Lisa's all Mae Midwest: "Well, I thought I had him." Sally says, "You do, you just don't know you do. When you're not looking, he stares at you all the time." Lisa looks as if she'd like to ponder this -- or write Sally's assessment of Luka in her *NSYNC diary with the real lock! -- but Sally's located the jersey, which is a bright teal. Good choice for a woman we've only ever seen wearing white, black, cream (as she is now), grey, and, at work, mauve scrubs. And my mom -- daughter of the grandma I mentioned above -- used to do that to me all the time. I am also a fan of black and white and my mom feels I should wear nothing but jewel tones. Any. WAY. Sally calls Lisa over and drapes the fabric against Lisa's chest, muttering, "We're going to make one of those wraparound dresses with the plunging neckline..." "He stares at me?" Lisa asks incredulously, and Sally confirms, "All the time." She tells Lisa she needs to take some measurements, but Lisa begs off, saying she has to take a shower. Lisa leaves the room, taking the wind out of Sally's sails with her, and Sally sputters that her interview isn't until noon: "Maybe we can have breakfast?" Lisa noncommittally replies, "If there's time," and Sally exhorts her to "hurry up."

In her huge bathroom, Lisa sets her coffee on the counter and runs the hot water in the tub. She gazes back toward the mirror, and then opens the medicine cabinet, snatching a prescription pill bottle out of it. Sitting down, Lisa empties the bottle into her palm and starts counting the pills with her pinkie. Of course, she hasn't locked the door, and of course, Sally bursts in and catches Lisa pill-handed. Unnecessarily, Sally asks what she's doing, and Lisa matter-of-factly admits she was counting Sally's pills. Sally whines that she told Lisa she'd take them. Lisa knows. Sally asks whether she passed inspection, and, by way of answer, Lisa asks whether Sally's been taking Prozac. Sally is wounded by the question, and insists, "I'm normal. I'm normal! I'm a little nervous about this interview." Lisa repeats, "Prozac, Zoloft, Effexor...?" Sally says she gave them all to Lisa, who asks, "Did you get more?" "How would I get more?" is Sally's evasive non-answer. "Mom," says Lisa in a "don't bullshit me" tone. Sally blithers, "I told you, I promised you! You don't believe me?" Lisa asks Sally to do her a favour, and Sally gushes, "Anything!" Lisa asks Sally to come to the hospital with her for a blood test. Sally's all hangdog and then wistfully agrees: "Sure, sure. I'd do anything for you." She hurries out. Lisa rolls her eyes and closes the door behind her.

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