Exactly how many bong hits did Natalie Portman take before deciding that Where The Crap Is had a good script -- twenty? thirty? I'd like to know.

Oh, god. Music Of Overly Mannered Wackiness. Edgar peeking. Kerry staring at him and asking Randi for Dave's whereabouts. Randi saying she last saw Dave in exam one. Kerry peering into the room where she last saw Edgar, then heading for exam one and finding -- uh oh! Abby, drawing blood from Jessamyn. Dude, has Abby gotten through even one episode without openly defying an order or breaking a rule? How has she not gotten cited by now? It took Doug Ross five seasons to get into this much trouble -- boot this chick, stat! Anyway, Kerry asks to see Abby for a moment; out in the hall, Kerry says she doesn't want to hear Abby's reasons or justifications, and asks if Abby knows Kerry could fail her for what she's doing. "Yes," Abby says defiantly. "What the hell were you thinking?" Kerry squeaks. Abby trots out the "trying to help" argument for the umpteenth time. Kerry tells her, "What that girl did coming here was brave -- what you've done is stupid," and goes on to say that Delia will have to go through two months of chemo before the transplant anyway, and didn't Abby think Mrs. L would find out by then? Abby says Jessamyn "just wanted to take the first step," but Kerry reminds her that "it's our sometimes lousy job to say no" and that the emergency department has rules, "is that clear?" "Yes," Abby says in the same petulant tone of voice. Kerry tells her to make sure Jessamyn is "okay to drive home," and she starts to crutch away, but Abby stops her and says, looking down poutily, that "I don't think trying to help is ever stupid." Oh, please, Abby -- what are you, six years old? Learn to identify shades of grey. Abby snits off and goes to apologize to Jessamyn, who hopes she didn't get Abby into too much trouble. "I'll live," Abby says before trying once more to convince Jessamyn to talk to her father. Jessamyn says no, she's "gonna leave." "I really wish you wouldn't," Abby says with a Dawson Leery-esque arm-flap. Abby, for Chrissake -- BUTT OUT.