The Longer You Stay

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Heathen: B- | Grade It Now!
The Longer You Stay

Frazzled, Elizabeth whirls into another room. Dr. Kerry "Muff Enough" Weaver is treating an elderly woman with third-degree burns. "Kerry, have you seen Mark?" Elizabeth asks. Kerry tells Elizabeth to check into a post-op seroma, and Elizabeth snaps that she'd much rather do it after dumping her kid into someone else's lap -- well, take it from me, that's what she meant. Kerry distractedly waves her toward Curtain Three for Mark; Elizabeth briefly considers trading up for what's behind door number two, but shakes it off and forges ahead toward mediocrity.

Jing-Mei "Deb" Chen grabs Weaver and frantically asks for advice -- X-ray is behind and her patient with a wrist-fracture is sick of waiting and wants to bolt. Weaver sighs that Chen needs to figure these problems out herself and learn to keep ER traffic flowing. Chen complains that time is too short even for the quick patients. "Turf and admit, treat and street," Weaver recites. Whatever. That acronym would be "TATS,"

"Mark!" screeches the Demon Hormone. She storms into his exam room. Mark "Mr. Mom" Greene stammers that things got really jammed, as he tries to attend to a patient. "Drunk boating accident," he explains. "Busted face. We need to crike him." Elizabeth knows exactly where Mark can shove his crike. She grouses that they need a weekend nanny. "A weekday nanny is bad enough," Mark says quietly. Elizabeth spits that it doesn't make them bad parents. "I just want to raise our children," Mark argues gently. That's a flagrant misuse of the plural -- one spawn of the hell couple is quite enough. Elizabeth bitches that if that's the case, then Mark had better get home when he says he'll be home; as is, he's an hour late. Mark tries to dispense proper medical care during this tirade. I'd hate to be the patient. "Finish the procedure, give it to a resident, and meet me upstairs," snarls his wife. Malik waits for her to leave, then smirks at Mark. "You're in trouble, doc," he says.

Speedwalking away from the hospital, Abby ribs Carter for being too stubborn. With six weeks left of his residency, he needs a job, and yet hasn't spoken to Weaver about applying for the Attending position. Chuny scrambles outside to beg Abby for help with a case, but Abby waves her off and refuses to do it. As she and Carter part company, Abby yells one last time, "Talk to Weaver!" Pausing, Carter takes a deep breath, smiles, and goes back inside.

Weaver is treating a guy with a bee sting in his mouth. It flew into his Coke. Seriously, that's one of my biggest fears. Carter trots up and tries to play casual about how the ER sure does need a new Attending, and hey, by the way, is Weaver actively recruiting people to fill the job? She replies that there's a classified ad running in the Annals. Carter gulps that he wants to apply. "It is my next step," he points out. Weaver's lack of interest is so strong, it could bench press the Sears Tower. She snaps Carter's heart in two with the revelation that they ideally want someone with five years of post-residency experience, but then halfheartedly tells him to apply. "In case you can't find anyone better," Carter mutters to her back.

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