Previously: Carter asked Susan how she wanted to define herself as chief. Neela thought she sucked, and Luka comforted her. Not like that. Although she wishes. Abby insisted she was doing fine after her abduction, and connected with Jake.
Luka and Sam's place. Luka is finishing breakfast, and a teakettle whistling signifies the tension in the household as Sam's not dissimilar voice shrieks at Alex to hurry up or he'll miss his bus. After discussing their work schedules, Sam asks cheerfully if Neela is working with Luka today, and Luka, clueless, says she might be. Sam keeps needling him until she finally just says it: "She's got a crush on you." Luka insists that he's just Neela's teacher, and Sam says that everyone (Pratt, Frank, Jerry, Malarkey, Chuny, Haleh, and Murray the guy from the Roach Coach) can see the relationship is more than that. Sam also thinks that Luka is encouraging it. Which would be a fine thing for Sam to say if she were concerned about Neela's feelings getting hurt, but she's really saying it because she honestly seems to think that Luka's going to throw her over for Neela. Although with the way Sam's been acting lately, could you blame him if he did? Sam jokingly asks if she's going to have to get into "some nasty chick fight" with Neela, then adds that Luka will be the one getting hurt if anything happens. Yeah, keeping your loved ones close with threatened violence. Great strategy, Sam. Maybe if you stopped being such a crotch and grew up a little, Luka would want to stick around. I like Linda Cardellini a whole lot, and I liked the character of Sam in the beginning, but her relationship "skills" suck and it makes me hate her.
Abby and Neela discuss the last time they each got laid. Abby says it was in April, with the guy who drove a motorcycle. Neela says it was her gross anatomy instructor. Abby is surprised that Neela slept with a teacher, and then concludes that they're both facing a long dry spell. Neela says that they can use work to keep their minds off sex. So, of course, Luka walks in and announces that a multiple MVA is on the way in. Neela gazes at him adoringly.
Susan announces that patient satisfaction scores are up a bit, so she's happy. And I guess that plotline is finished now. She tells Carter that she's going to post the new scores, and then thanks him for taking what could have been an awkward situation (having your friend and ex-girlfriend as your boss, although she doesn't mention the ex-girlfriend part) and making it go smoothly. Carter says that he can't think of anyone else he'd rather have as a boss. Susan kind of squints at him as the EMTs roll in a girl who backed into a utility pole while her father was teaching her to drive. Susan fires a parting shot when she tells Carter not to call her Susan at work.