The Providers

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
The Providers

Carter gets the bullet on the young girl. Hey, her dad is Graham Chase! So I'm just going to call the young girl Angela. Angela explains that she got dizzy while driving and might have gotten the pedals mixed up, causing the accident.

Susan posts the patient satisfaction scores as Abby and Neela walk up. Susan cracks, "We don't suck as bad as we used to. And maybe by next week, we'll suck a little less!" Abby jokes back, "Must be your motivational speeches." Susan announces that they're pairing Attendings with interns, and that Contrivance has paired Neela and Kovac, as well as decreed that Abby will be teaching Jake. It's bad enough that they seem to pair couples together on this show by drawing names out of a hat at six-month intervals, but now they've got to come up with completely forced ways to make them interact? This is almost (but not quite) as bad as that horrible episode with Luka, Abby, Carter, Susan, and Gallant at the sexual harassment seminar. Neela smirks about Abby having to work with Jake as she walks off.

Abby, Neela, and Jake head out to meet the ambulance. Abby asks Jake if he knows how to clear a C-spine, and he doesn't. The paramedics roll in two people on one gurney; it's a man and a woman, naked, and, shall we say, engaged. And I don't mean in the "to be married" sense. It seems they were having sex in a car when they were rear-ended. Which might not be the best term to use when you're talking about someone having sex. Apparently, the dude has a broken pelvis, and they later reveal that he took Viagra so that means that his erection can't go down. I still don't get why the woman is stuck, though. Did it swell? It's not like he has a (squeamish people skip to the next paragraph) grappling hook at the end of his penis that hooks into her cervix or something (I warned you). Abby and Neela are semi-amused as the couple is wheeled inside.

The sex couple is brought into a curtain area. Jake is impressed that the couple was in the back of some tiny sports car. Neela is not so impressed. Sex Lady asks what they were supposed to do, since her husband was home. Neela asks Abby if she has this, and Abby says she's all over it. Neela glances at Jake, chuckles, and leaves. Jake says that they'll give Sex Guy morphine to help with his pain until his Viagra wears off. Still don't get why the woman is stuck. Is it because he has a fractured pelvis, and it's unstable, so if she moves it could cause further damage? That makes no sense though, because her weight and jostling around can't be making things any better. I know. I'm overthinking it.

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