ER
The Show Must Go On

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Kim: B- | 4 USERS: A+
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The Show Must Go On

Well, it's been four minutes, and the critical patients have arrived. Neela is working on Preggo, along with Chuny and Darlene and a bunch of other people we've never seen before. Preggo's blood pressure drops, and Neela orders everyone to roll Preggo onto her side, while yelling something about the uterus and pressure and something else. It works. Preggo yells that her back hurts, and Neela and Chuny exchange "Oh, shit!" looks. Neela rushes over and holds out her finger, and Chuny squirts a metric shitload of lube on it. Wow, I think I just wrote a fanfic. Neela explains that the back pains were contractions. She checks and announces that the baby is crowning. They turn the bed around so that random passers-by can't see Preggo's bottom system as Neela tells Chuny to grab some supplies and page OB.

Chuny runs next door where Abby is treating Riley, another one of Shane's friends. He needs a chest tube. Abby asks Chuny if everything is okay, and Chuny says that the baby's coming, the mother's hypotensive, and they don't have fetal heart tones yet. Abby snaps, "A simple 'no' would have sufficed." The new interns just watch Abby (unlike Darlene who jumped right in) and second-guess her every move. One of them asks Abby if she's the senior resident, and Abby says that she's an intern.

Shane is working on Nick, whose shin bone is totally poking out through his skin. Grody! Shane reports no pulse in the foot and tells Nick that he cut the artery in his foot and needs surgery. Lily tells Shane that the OR won't be ready any time soon, and Shane says that he will make them be ready by the power of his Edgy Boy Band Member Charisma. Shane grabs the phone from Jerry to call the OR.

Jerry runs into Trauma Green and tells Neela that OB can't come down because they're in the middle of an emergency C-section. Neela has her hands about ten feet up Preggo's birth canal, as Chuny and Darlene pull Preggo's legs back so that her knees are about around her ears. Chuny reports that the head is out and that the baby has a lot of hair. Neela grabs the head, which then kind of jerks out of her hands and back up towards the womb. Neela yells that it's "turtle sign," and yells at Jerry to page OB 911 because they've got a shoulder. Darlene says it's "shoulder dystocia," and Baby Daddy asks if there's something wrong with the baby. Neela says that the baby is a little too big for Preggo's pelvis. She orders Chuny and Darlene to pull Preggo's legs back as hard as they can, and for Preggo to push really hard, unlike those weak-ass pushes she was giving before because, you know, practically an entire building fell on her and she might be a little exhausted. Neela tells Chuny to apply pressure to the pelvis. Neela tells Preggo to push with all she's got, and Preggo says she can't, and usually I'm kind of annoyed by women on TV shows who are all, "I caaaaan't," but I'm willing to make an exception here because see: deck, complete collapse of. Chuny notes that the contraction has ended and the fetal pulse is coming back up. Neela tells Darlene to support the head, and then runs next door where she tells Abby what's up. Abby suggests "the Wood-Screw Maneuver," which Neela's never heard of. Neela offers to take over Abby's patient, and they swap out. Someone asks Abby if she's giving up, and Abby says that if you can't get a procedure by the third attempt, you won't get it, which she says is "from the book of John Carter."

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