The Student

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C | Grade It Now!
The Student

Neela sprints back toward Trauma Yellow, but Sam stops her and asks if she should push Demerol for a kidney-stone patient. Neela swiftly corrects that they shouldn't use a narcotic until a lesser drug's been ineffective, and takes the vial of Demerol. She sprints back to Trauma Yellow; Sam doesn't bother to tell her not to run with needles, because she skipped that lesson with Alex in favor of the retroactive but still crowd-pleasing "Please don't steal fingers."

Abby reports that Luis's pain scale is eight out of ten, which sounds kind of oversimplified but is actually how they assess these things. Lauren's hospital room had a scale with five different little faces on it that all corresponded to the level of pain; Mr. Eight To Ten was sweating and frowning. As is Luis. Neela says his discharge sheet -- which must have been what was in his pocket; that, or they faxed her that much and hadn't sent the rest of the record yet -- says he had post-op Demerol, so she whips out the vial she took from Sam. Abby gets called away, so Neela calmly promises to push it herself. Abby leaves. Luis sobs. Those two things are unrelated.

Susan watches Chuck from the front desk and sighs, "It's so sweet to see them growing." Jerry frowns. "Babies?" he asks. "Men," she answers. Lord. Playing up the whole "men are so immature" stereotype is such an easy punch line. I'm disappointed that, in addition to being a crabby old pregnant crone, Susan is also now a man-hater. Suddenly, of course, Chuck lets out a giant scream and starts fighting with Pervy again, because he's not allowed to do anything but act like an ass so that if Susan dumps him we won't care. Susan bursts into the room just as an old man who's also situated in there shouts, "Pull his hair!" Chuck and Pervy go tumbling over a bed and wreak complete havoc on the room until Jerry pulls them apart. "Stop it, Chuck," Susan scolds. Chuck frowns and mopes. Susan rolls her eyes, visibly irritated at this early enactment of the duties of motherhood.

Luis gurgles that Neela made his pain go away. She presents him successfully to Carter, who hands off two more patients to her and glows with the rosy light of arrogance. He's ten seconds away from crawling up his own ass. "Keep it up," he smarms. Neela allows herself a small, proud smile, and we fade to black all too aware that when we run this scene through the ER Jinx Translator, it will spit back, "I look forward to witnessing your inevitable downfall -- that, or the ruination of your hair by the drooling, rabid donkeys we hired last season to take over the hair and makeup department."

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