ER
The Student

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The Student

Weaver should have become a personal-injury lawyer in her spare time. She can smell a lawsuit from ten miles away, and with her day job, there's no need for dangerous ambulance-chasing because they come straight to her. Weaver explains that Pervy is threatening to sue everything from the city to the fire department to the ER. "I need this to go away," she snaps. And here we are, back to Hollow Kerry. Put your mouth on her ear and blow, and you'll see -- she's a human kazoo. Weaver begins threatening to sic the hospital lawyers on the situation, until Susan finally capitulates and agrees to have a go at talking some sense into Pervy. Chuck pouts as Susan stalks toward Pervy's room. Weaver is with her. And I hate this so much, because not only is Kerry a one-note shrew obsessed with litigation and the bottom line, but she's deviated from protecting her staff, and she always struck me as someone who would in particular go to bat for her female staff members if they felt threatened. Hate this. HATE.

Neela has a handful of patients to present to a pleased-as-punch Carter, who can't wipe the shit-eating grin off his face. Which would be a lot more satisfying if he'd go ahead and actually eat shit. Deftly Neela treats an incarcerated hernia and an asthmatic, and explains how she diagnosed a diabetic. Each time, her instinct was correct. Neela turns around and warmly greets another patient; Neela's very much the picture of someone who's just become the most popular girl in school and is basking in it. Carter trots along behind her and mouths "Thank you," at the sky. Because it's about him -- what makes him right, what proves his instincts...Oh my God, he's the new Abby. Neela displays excellent bedside manner with a father and his little girl, dispensing practical advice in layman's terms, and Luka and Carter watch with a grin. "The girl is on FIRE," Carter beams. "Yeah, you told us so," Luka concedes, laughing. "I told you so," Carter agrees, swanning out of there. Abby overhears. "Attending gossip," Luka downplays. I love that it takes her a second to digest this, which I read as having everything to do with the words "Attending gossip" being the last two she'd expect to come out of Luka's mouth.

Abby bumps into Elizabeth at the desk. "So?" she asks, a tinge of mischief in her tone. Elizabeth misunderstands and thinks Abby is asking about work. What Elizabeth doesn't know is that work is for gossiping about one's personal life. "Last night, the surgeon..." Abby trails off. "Oh, it was, er...splendid," Elizabeth winks. Too bad we didn't see it, but Dr. Lawson's a bit busy right now threatening the president on 24, and can't be disturbed. Abby hopes that "splendid" is English code for "hot and sweaty." "I don't kiss and tell," Elizabeth says. Jerry calls Abby away, so she grins that she's fully expecting some dirt later. I love that Elizabeth is turning into this total sexpot. She had a totally miserable marriage -- I think she's entitled to a little sexual gymnastics.

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