The hugest of ups to Wing Chun, who makes it look so easy. Bitch.
And now...Part Two of the Sweeps Month Sars/Wing Chun Crossover Event.
Previously on ER: the pathologist goes over the mugger's autopsy report with Luka, who chews his knuckles and interrupts that he knows how the mugger died; Peter tells Jackie to chill on the Jesse tip, but she insists that "he's changing," and Peter just doesn't come around enough to notice anymore; Jesse tries to blow Peter off, but Peter tells him that doing things he doesn't want to do is "part of being a man"; Kerry bitches Luka out for missing his shift, and he tells her to go ahead and fire him, then. She didn't, though. Because, you know, Visnjic is signed on to the show through, like, 2035.
Apparently, however, Visnjic also signed a clause saying that he got to keep his shirt on. Sorry, kids -- no post-coital fade-up this week.
We begin instead with the silent view through a trauma-room window: Chuny, Haleh, and the paramedics, in slo-mo, attending a gurney. The sound comes up after a moment. It sounds like slo-mo sirens, but also a bit like an incoming mortar shell, and as the camera pans across to Luka "Putting The 'Man' Back In 'Manslaughter'" Kovac sitting in the trauma room, eyes closed, mouth ajar, in obvious psychic pain, it becomes clear that the writers have foregone the skillet this week in favor of a long and extremely sharp hat pin. And it hurts. Ow. Luka opens his eyes slowly, responding to Jing-Mei "Squaresville, Daddy Who?" Chen, in whose body Rex the Wonder Preemie has taken up residence. She calls to him in devil-voice slo-mo, "Dooooctoooor Koooovaaaaccchhhh." Luka fixes her with a bleary stare; he doesn't seem to know, or care, what's going on. Then everything speeds up and the gurney busts through the doors; the corn-rowed occupant of the gurney, who has lost a hand somehow, has the thrash-and-scream throttle thrown into overdrive, and various medical personnel try to get him to simmer. Luka grimly steps forward after a moment and asks for the bullet. Thrashing. Screaming. Luka orders tests, tells Chuny to find Benton, and bellows at Corn Rows that he has to calm down, all on apparent autopilot; none of the chaos seems to affect him at all. Then I feel a sharp pain in my ass, and for a moment I think I've got the hat pin buried in my left buttcheek, but no, it's just "Dr." Dave Malucci. Dave enters; Dave makes a stupid comment. I can't believe I wasted six seconds of my life typing that out, when it should really go without saying. Anyway, then Peter "Sysop" Benton comes in and asks what they've got and elbows Dave out of the way, and a paramedic comes in to say that he's found the hand, and someone else says there's nothing to reattach it to, and Corn Rows continues shrieking and flailing about. Dave finds illegal drugs on Corn Rows, and a second later Chen finds a gun, and Dave lectures Corn Rows about dealing drugs and dangerous and blah bling blah. Luka, who clearly just wants to lie down facing the wall for about a year, asks if Peter can take it from there; Peter says yes, and Luka excuses himself. Screech. Flail. A radial artery sprays blood all over Dave's gown. Dave makes sucked-a-lemon face. Go away, Dave.